Great Women of Islam

Filed under: The Muslimah — m00nshadow at 4:40 pm on Wednesday, April 30, 2008

by Imâm al-Madîna al-Munawarrah ‘Abdul Muhsin Ibn Muhammad al-Qâsim

All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger, his household and companions.

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allaah as He should be feared. Fear of Allaah is a reminder for His devoted servants and it is safety from His punishment. Dear brethren! Muslim woman attains prosperity by following the path of the best women who lived in the best generation and got nurtured in the house of Prophethood. They are women of high status and outstanding estimation. Allaah praises them in the Qur’aan where He says,

 

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:32)

They are blessed and great women. Foremost among them is that intelligent and wise woman, Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid, the religious and noble woman. She grew up upon virtuous characters and manners. She was chaste and gracious. She was known among Makkah womenfolk as ‘the pure woman’. The Messenger of Allaah married her and she became an excellent wife for him. She supported him with her life, wealth and wisdom. During his sorrowful days, he would seek shelter with her and confide in her.

When the first revelation came to him he went to his wife frightened, and he said, “O Khadeejah, I fear for myself.” But Khadeejah responded to his fear with a firm heart. She told him, “By Allaah, Allaah will not disgrace you.”

Islaam started in her house and she was the first person to embrace it. Ibn al-Atheer said, “Khadeejah was the first person to embrace Islaam, according to the consensus of the Muslims. No man or woman ever embraced Islaam before her.”

At the beginning of the Prophet’s mission, he was faced with many tribulations. But she stood by him compassionately and supported him with her outstanding intelligence. Whenever he heard any undesirable words from the people and came to her, she would strengthen and console him. The Prophet said about her,

 

“She believed in me when people denied me, she trusted me when people belied me; she supported me with her wealth when people refused to support me and I was blessed with children by her when I was denied children by other women.” (Ahmad)

Khadeejah was a great and dutiful wife to her husband and an affectionate mother to her children. She gave birth to all the Prophet’s children except Ibraaheem. She was extremely good-mannered. She never argued with her husband and she never bothered him. The Messenger of Allaah said,

 

“Angel Jibreel came to me and said: ‘Give Khadeejah the good tidings that she will have a palace made of hollowed pearls in Paradise and there will be neither noise nor any trouble in it.’” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

As-Suhaylee said, “She was given the glad tiding of a house in Paradise because she never raised her voice over that of the Prophet and she never bothered him.” She was pleased with her Lord and Allaah is pleased with her.

The Prophet said, “Angel Jibreel told me:

 

‘When you come to Khadeejah, convey my Lord’s greetings to her and mine as well.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Khadeejah was the only woman known to have this honour.”

Allaah loved Khadeejah, so did His angels. The Messenger of Allaah also loved her so much. He said,

 

“I am blessed with her love.” (Muslim)

Whenever the Prophet remembered her, he would mention her in glowing attributes and would show gratitude for her companionship. ‘Aaishah said, “Whenever the Messenger of Allaah remembered Khadeejah, he would never be tired of praising her and invoking Allaah’s forgiveness for her. He appreciated her love and sincerity and he would honour her friends after her death.” ‘Aaishah said, “

 

He would often slaughter a goat, cut it into parts and distribute it to Khadeejah’s friends. And whenever I asked him, ‘Are there no other women in the world except Khadeejah?’ He would say, ‘She was this and that and she bore me children.’” (Al-Bukhaaree)

After her death, Allaah’s Messenger heard her sister’s voice. He them became sad and said, “She reminded me of Khadeejah.”

Khadeejah was perfect in her religion, wisdom and conduct. The Prophet said,

 

“Many men attained perfection, but only three women attained it: Maryam, daughter of ‘Imraan [Jesus’ mother], Aasiyah, Pharaoh’s wife and Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid.” (Ibn Mardooyah)

She preceded the women of this Ummah in righteousness, nobility and splendour. Allaah’s Messenger said,

 

“Maryam [Mary, Jesus’ mother] was the best woman of her time, and the best woman of this Ummah is Khadeejah.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

Khadeejah was righteous and made her home righteous. She reaped the fruit of her labour and she and her daughter became the best of the women of the worlds in Paradise. The Prophet said,

 

“The best f the women of Paradise are: Khadeejah, Faatimah, Maryam [Mary] and ‘Aasiyah.” (Ahmad and An-Nasaa’ee)

She occupied a great place in the Prophet’s heart. He did not marry any woman before her neither did he marry any woman or have any concubine while she was still with him until she died. He was extremely distressed with her death. Adh-Dhahabee said, “Khadeejah was intelligent, gracious, religious, chaste and noble. She is one of the dwellers of Paradise.”

Dear brethren! Another great woman of the house of Prophethood is ‘Aaishah, daughter of Aboo Bakr. She was born in the house of truthfulness and piety and she was nurtured in the house of eemaan. Her mother was a companion and her sister, Asmaa, Lady of the Two Girdles and her brother were also companions. Her father is the truthful man of this Ummah. She grew up in the house of knowledge, for her father was the erudite scholar of Quraysh and the highest authority in genealogy. Allaah endowed her with outstanding intelligence and a sharp memory. Ibn Katheer said, “No nation has produced a woman as sharp, knowledgeable, fluent and intelligent as ‘Aaishah.” She excelled the women of her race in knowledge and wisdom. She was blessed with understanding of Islaamic jurisprudence and memorisation of poetry. She was in fact, a treasure of Islaamic sciences. Adh-Dhahabee said, “The most knowledgeable woman of this Ummah is ‘Aaishah. I do not know any woman from the Ummah of Muhammad or from any other nation more knowledgeable than her.”

She excelled all women with her virtues and beautiful companionship. Allaah’s Messenger said,

 

“The superiority of ‘Aaishah over other women is like the superiority of thareed [1] over other kinds of food.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

The Messenger of Allaah loved her; and he did not love anything but that which is pleasant.

‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas once asked Allaah’s Messenger,

 

“Who is most beloved to you of all people?” The Prophet answered, “‘Aaishah.” And he said, “And among men?” And he answered, “Her father.” (Al-Bukhaaree)

She was the only virgin the Messenger of Allah married, and the revelation did not come to him in other woman’s blanket but hers. She was chaste and devoted to her Lord. She did not go out of her house except in the night so that men could not see her. She said of herself, “We did not use to go out but only in the night.” This is in line with Allaah’s instruction,

 

“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:33)

Al-Qurtubee said, “There are resplendent evidences in Islaam that require women to stay at home and not to go out except when necessary. And when it becomes necessary for them to go out they should do so with complete covering of themselves and their adornments.”

Allaah puts whomever He wills to test, and the test is in accordance with one’s eemaan. ‘Aaishah was slandered while she was only twelve. She said, narrating her ordeal in this incidence, “I wept and I could not sleep and I just kept weeping until my parents thought that my liver would burst from weeping.” She said that the trial was so severe that she would weep but could not find any more tears to shed.

Ibn Katheer said, “So Allaah decided to defend her honour, and He revealed ten verses to absolve her. This elevated her status and these verses were recited and they shall continue to be recited till the Day of Resurrection. Allaah testified that she was one of the purest women and promised her forgiveness and a generous provision.

She spent nights caring for the Prophet in his illness until he died in her apartment, on her day and in her bosom.

Sawdah bint Zam‘ah is another of the Prophet’s noble wives. She was pure-hearted and the first woman he married after the death of Khadeejah. She was his only wife for about three years. She was gracious and noble, and the purity of her heart manifested when she gave her days with the Prophet to ‘Aaishah out of consideration for her husband’s feelings and in order to earn reward of her Lord.

Another great woman in the Prophet’s household is Hafsah, daughter of ‘Umar. She was given to observing prayers in the night and performing supererogatory fasting. She grew up in a house in which the cause of Islaam was supported and truth was given prominence. Seven members of her family participated in the battle of Badr. ‘Aaishah said of her, “She was my only competitor among the Prophet’s wives.”

There is also Zaynab bint Khuzaymah al-Hilaaliyyah who was very generous and hastened to perform righteous deeds. She lived with Allaah’s Messenger for only two months and then died.

Another distinguished woman in the house of Prophethood is Umm Habeebah daughter of Aboo Sufyaan, the emigrant and the one who was given to performing meritorious deeds. She was the closest to the Prophet of his wives in terms of blood relation. There was no one among his wives who was more generous than her as far as charity giving is concerned. She migrated to Abyssinia, escaping with her religion. The king of Abyssinia paid her bridal gift on the Prophet’s behalf and got her ready for him.

Another outstanding wife of the Prophet was Umm Salamah, the patient and noble woman. Her name is Hind bint Abee Umayyah, one of the earliest emigrants. When she wanted to migrate to al-Madeenah with her husband Aboo Salamah, her clan separated between her and her husband and son. She said, “Every morning I would go to Abtah [a valley in Makkah] and I would keep weeping until evening. I did so for a whole year or close to a year. They later pitied me and gave my son back to me.”

Her sure faith in Allaah was firm-rooted. When her first husband died, she said the invocation that Allaah’s Messenger taught her, so Allaah gave her a better husband in the person of Allaah’s Messenger. Umm Salamah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said,

 

“If any Muslim who suffers some calamity says what Allaah has commanded him,” We belong to Allaah and to Him we shall return; O Allaah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange,” Allah will give him something better than it in exchange.’” When Abu Salamah died she said: ‘Which Muslim is better than Abu Salamah whose family was the first to emigrate to the Messenger of Allaah?’ I then said those words, and Allaah gave me the Prophet in exchange.” (Muslim)

Make this supplication your treasure during afflictions, Allaah will provide you with what is better.

Dear brethren! There is a woman among the Prophet’s wives known as Mother of the Poor. She is Zaynab bint Jahsh whose mother is the Prophet’s aunt. She enjoyed nobility of birth and character. She was described by Aboo Nu’aym as, ‘devoted and contented woman’. Allaah married her to His Prophet through an explicit verse from His Book,

 

“So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:37)

Her marriage to the Prophet is a blessing to the Muslim women till the day of Resurrection, for it was after her marriage that Allaah ordained hijaab for the women so that it could serve as a symbol of protection for their honour, chastity and purity.

Zaynab was extremely generous to the poor and the weak. She was highly charitable. In spite of her nobility and high status, she used to work with her hands, tanning and making beads. And she would spend the proceeds for the poor. ‘Aaishah said, “I have not seen a woman better in her adherence to religion, more pious, kinder to the kith and kin and more generous in giving charity than Zaynab.”

Juwayriyyah bint al-Haarith from the tribe of Banoo al-Mustaliq is another of the Prophet’s distinguished wives. Her father was the influential chief of his tribe. She was in herself blessed as she was blessed to her tribe. ‘Aaishah said, “I have not seen a woman who is greater in blessing to her people more than her.” She was given to performing much acts of worship for her Lord. She sincerely and devotedly worshiped her Lord. She would sit down in her prayer place remembering her Lord after Fajr until mid-noon. She said

 

, “The Messenger of Allaah came to me one morning while I was glorifying Allaah. He then went out for some of his needs. When he came back just before mid-noon he said, ‘Are you still there remembering Allaah?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’” (Muslim)

 

Another honourable wife of Allaah’s Messenger is the beautiful Safiyyah bint Huyayy, a descendant of Prophet Haaroon [Aaron]. She was a noble and intelligent woman. She was highly-placed, religious, deliberate and peace-loving. The Messenger of Allaah told her, “Indeed, you are a daughter of a Prophet [meaning Aaron], your uncle is a Prophet [meaning Moses]; and you are also married to a Prophet.” (At-Tirmidhee)

The feast of her marriage to the Prophet comprised only of butter, cottage cheese and dates. But the marriage was blessed.

Maymoonah bint al-Haarith al-Hilaaliyyah, the woman who was given to being kind to the kith and kin is another eminent wife of the Prophet. She was one of the greatest women. Allaah endowed her with pure heart and performance of much acts of worship. ‘Aaishah said about her, “She was one of the most pious and most generous to the kith and kin among us.”

Fellow Muslims! That is the history of the outstanding women of Islaam, mothers of the faithful. Their virtues are glowing. They had combination of beauties and virtues. It is therefore, incumbent upon Muslim women to make them their models in matters of their religion, their submission to Allaah and His Messenger, their conduct, their consciousness of Allaah, their performance of acts of worship, their truthfulness in words and their spending for the poor. They need to emulate them in their alleviation of other people’s sufferings; and in their efforts to make their children righteous, correct them with patience and in seeking fortification through knowledge and learning from erudite scholars.

They need to emulate them in keeping themselves properly covered, maintaining their chastity, staying at their homes and keeping away from doubtful and lustful things. They should emulate them by avoiding pinning their hopes on this world, heedlessness and forgetfulness or being carried away by outward beauties while the inward is corrupt.

The Muslim women should avoid looking at forbidden things and engaging in amorous conversations with alien men. They should beware of those who are calling to the removal of hijaab and mixing with men.

Muslim woman’s greatness and glory lie in her religion and her hijaab. Allaah says,

 

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Al-Israa 33:59)

Dear Muslims! The Prophet’s wives lived with him humbly in apartments built of brick and palm leaves, but full of eemaan and piety. They showed patience with the Messenger of Allaah over poverty and hunger. Sometimes, a month or two would pass with no cooking fire kindled in their homes. They would spend days with nothing to eat but only dates and water. Sometimes they would make do with water only. Yet they lived in contentedness and patience upon Allaah’s promise that,

 

“The Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world).” (Ad-Duhaa 93:4)

And His promise,

 

“And whosoever of you is obedient to Allaah and His Messenger and does righteous good deeds, We shall give her, her reward twice over, and We have prepared for her a noble provision.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:31)

Brethren in Islaam! The Prophet married five of his wives with their ages ranging between forty and sixty. By that he was able to lay an example in taking care of the widow and their orphaned children. He married Khadeejah while she was forty years old, with three children from the previous marriage, while he was unmarried before. He married Zaynab bint Khuzaymah who was an almost sixty-year-old widow. He married Umm Salamah who was a widow with six children. He married Sawdah who was a fifty-five years old widow.

He married some relatives from among his cousins. And he married some women who were not his relatives.

He was a compassionate, dutiful and honourable husband to them all. He lived with them in the most beautiful way. He was always cheerful and kind to them.

Therefore, let those who want to prosper emulate the Messenger of Allaah, who is the best of all creatures. Let the Muslim women follow the path of the righteous wives of the Prophet. For, there is no success for any woman except by following the path of these pious ladies in their righteousness and God-consciousness and in their dutifulness to their husband and children.

[1] Thareed is a dish of sopped bread, meat and broth.

source: http://www.islaam.net/

Marriage in Islam

Filed under: Marriage in Islam — m00nshadow at 8:08 pm on Thursday, April 24, 2008

The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relation established between them.

Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations. Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations.

In the context of marriage there is one very important difference between man and women: women are the ones who can bear and nurse children. This is an extremely important responsibility. On the other hand Islam assigned the husbands the responsibility of financially supporting their wives. This allows women to concentrate on what is really important, their families. And then men are also given the position of leadership to balance their greater responsibility of support. The husband and the wife are a complementary pair. Each has his own designated role and responsibilities. Together they complete the family. And that’s why Islam has set the basics on which marriage should be built.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected.”(Qur’an 4:34)

There is much debate and difference of opinion among Muslims regarding the right meaning of this verse. Some people read it to give a great deal of power and authority to the husbands; others seek to place restrictions on men.

The reason that men have been given authority over their wives is that they are completely financially responsible for their wives. Even if a woman is wealthy, she is not required to spend any of her money to support the family; the obligation falls completely on her husband. She may share him the responsibility if she wants, but this is not an obligation. Her own money is hers to use as she chooses and her husband can’t take it without her permission.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And give the women their dowries as a present, but if they are happy to offer you any of it, accept with happiness and with wholesome pleasure” (Qur’an 4:4)

However the wife must obey her husband and support him. But this doesn’t mean that “obedience” referred to is not unquestioning obedience to whatever command the husband happens to give, but rather refers to accepting the husband’s decision as final.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy, indeed, God is almighty, All-wise.” (Qur’an 9:71)

Obedience of the husband is compulsory on the wife. If, without any lawful reason, she refuses to obey the orders of her husband, she will be liable to the Wrath and Curse of Allah until she returns to obedience.

The husband is given the permission in Islam to hit his wife (slightly) or stays away from her if she is recalcitrant. Nearly all modern Islamic scholars have agreed that these three steps must be taken in sequence. Meaning: first the husband sets out verbally why he thinks his wife’s conduct is wrong. If that doesn’t then he may separate from her in bed. If that still doesn’t work, then finally he may hit her (yet not harshly, just slightly to show her that she did something wrong).

However, “recalcitrance” is not simply disagreeing with the husband; it is rather a refusal to agree, a rejection of the husband’s right to leadership.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

“The rights your wife has on you are) that you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and that you do not hit her on the face or call her ugly, and that you do not separate from her except in the house.”(Narrated by Mu’awiya Al-Qushayri.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also said:

“Be in awe of God in (the matter of) women, for you have taken them by the trust of God, and made their bodies lawful for you by the word of God. And your right upon them is that they do not allow among your furnishings anybody you do not like, and if they do, you may hit them, as long as it is not injurious. And their right on you is that you support them and clothe them in honor.”(From the Farewell Sermon, reported by Jabir).

Here we learn that the admonishment should not involve insulting the wife, such as calling her ugly or other types of psychological abuse. Also separating from her or staying away from her is done only in private; the husband should not shun his wife in public and thus expose her to shame or ridicule from others. The hitting must not be on the face. The hitting should not be “injurious”. Muslims should follow the Prophet’s (PBUH) explanation of the Holy Qur’an and to abide by these rules.

However, it should be noted that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) never hit any of his wives, and said that men who did “are not the best of you, by God!” The Prophet (PBUH) is set as a beautiful example for Muslims and all Muslim men should strive to follow him.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Surely there is for you the best example in the Messenger of God, for whoever seeks the pleasure of God and the Last Day (Day of Judgment), and remembers God often.”(Qur’an 33:21)

On the other hand wives have been given permission to seek remedy for their husbands’ recalcitrance. The Arabic word, Nushuz, is used as for the wife’s recalcitrance. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And if a wife fears cruelty or desertion from her husband, there is no blame on them if they reconciliate them, reconciliation between them is far better, and souls are prone to avarice. But if you do good and are God fearing then surely God is aware of what you do-” (Qur’an 4:128)

And if there is a dispute between the married couple, a member of each family can be brought in to resolve it. The point is that, in Islam women have rights over their husbands the same way husbands have rights over them.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And if you fear disunity between them, then send an arbiter from his side and an arbiter from her side. If they wish for reconciliation God will affect harmony between them, surely God is All-knowing, Al-Aware.” (Qur’an 4:35)

Now let’s bring some more focus on how the husband should treat his wife as God has asked Muslim men to:

It is not demeaning if the husband shares in the responsibility of house matters, such as the mending of garments or things of the kind. Also it shows good manners that the husband helps his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has just gave birth or similar to that. For Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) used to fix his shoes, and used to be helpful to his wives.

Al-Aswad narrated: “I asked Aicha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?’ She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.’” [Bukhari].

A good husband is he who cooperates with his wife by being tender and kind to her. Islam considers husbands who are best at helping their wives are the best of mankind.

Also the husband should set a specific time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. The relationship between a married couple cannot be warm and stable unless the couple begins removing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of, it shows her that he loves her.

Also, let’s keep in mind that nobody is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not meet his natural preferences. If such qualities are not opposing the fundaments of the Islam or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not push her to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.

Islam states that a husband should not try to expose his wife’s bad qualities, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between them, and will surely threaten their marital life. So the husband should overlook his wife’s drawbacks and mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like something small.

Also the husband should not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to Islam, which a wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main reason that stirs the husband’s anger.

The woman is the head of the house, the one responsible for it. So the husband should not meddle into affairs that do not fall into his area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house.

Also Islam forbids the husband fro scolding his wife or blame her for a mistake she made, in front of others, even if they are their own children.

Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of the wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows the husband’s love and care for her, provided that the husband does not go to extremes in his jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something negative and will badly affect their life.

Moreover the husband should not enter the house suddenly, for he might shock his wife, he should prepare her for his coming, and when he comes in he should greet her with Salaam (Islam greeting).

Aicha (one of Prophet Mohammad’s wives) has narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.

And ask about her and how she is doing.

Also husbands and wives should beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters they have with each other, for that is something forbidden in Islam.

The husband is also asked to take care of the way he looks the way the wife is asked to look beautiful in the eyes of her husband. The husband should constantly maintain the cleaning of his mouth and the freshening of his breath.

Showing respect and kindness to the wife’s family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.

When a husband speaks to his wife, he must choose the kindest and nicest words and expressions for his speech. And not to reprimand her in front of others or in front of the children. Same thing goes for the wife; she should be kind and talk to her husband using nice and sweet words.

Also it is not proper for a husband to force his wife to look for work or to spend her wealth on supporting the house, for this is his responsibility.


Source: missionIslam

When Friends Hurt Each Other

Filed under: Uncategorized — m00nshadow at 7:12 pm on Saturday, April 12, 2008

By Muhammad Alshareef


One day, Imam Malik entered Masjid An-Nabawi after Asr, and sat down towards the front of the masjid. RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam had commanded that anyone who enters the masjid should not sit until he first prays 2 raka? as a salutation to the masjid. However, Imam Malik was of the opinion that RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam?s forbiddance of praying after Asr took precedence over tahiyyatul masjid. Therefore, Imam Mailk would teach his students to not pray the tahiyyatul masjid if they entered the masjid between Asr and Maghrib time.

At the moment that Imam Malik sat down, a young boy had seen him sit without first praying the 2 raka? of tahiyyatul masjid. The young boy scorned him saying, ?Get up and pray 2 raka?!?

Imam Malik dutifully stood up and began praying the 2 raka?. The students were stunned; what was going on? Had Imam Malik changed his opinion?

After he had completed the salah, the students swarmed around him and questioned his actions. Imam Malik said, ?My opinion has not changed, nor have I gone back on what I taught you earlier. I merely feared that had I not prayed the 2 raka? as the young boy commanded, Allah may include me in the ayah:

And when it is said to them, ?Bow (in prayer),? they do not bow (Al-Mursalat 77/48).

Imam Ahmad held the opinion that eating camel meat nullifies ones wudu?; an opinion that the majority of scholars differed from. Some students asked him, ?If you find an Imam eating camel meat in front of you and, without first making wudu?, he leads salah, would you pray behind him??

Imam Ahmad replied, ?Do you think I would not pray behind the likes of Imam Malik and Sa?eed ibn Al-Musayyab??

Allah created humans with differences, and this is the law of creation. On the outside, we all have different languages, different colors, and different cultures. However on the inside, humans were created with many degrees of knowledge, intellect, and comprehension of concepts. This is all a sign of Allah?s all encompassing power to do whatever He wills:

And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge (Ar-Room 30/22).

Humans shall differ, but this is not the issue. The real issue is how a Muslim should confront these differences of opinions, and what should be our relationship with someone of a different opinion.

Allah ta?ala commanded us to call and advise people in this Deen of Al-Islam. Many Muslims set off on this mission blindfolded, not realizing that the map is already in the Qur?an. In fact, in the very same verse where Allah commanded us to call and advise people in this Deen, Allah also taught us how to do it. Read the following verse carefully:

Invite [fi?l Amr ? Allah is commanding] to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction and argue with them in a way that is best (An-Nahl 16/25).

There is no need to philosophize or talk in flower gardens. It is right there, plain and simple for anyone who would take heed. There, in that aayah, are the three ingredients to apply when we disagree with someone. The same Allah that taught us to debate the truth also taught us how to do it: with hikmah, good instruction, and to argue in a way that is best.

What does it mean to have hikmah (wisdom) when differing with someone?

The nephews of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam once set one of the most beautiful examples of hikmah in advising others. In their young age, Al-Hassan wal Husayn saw an elderly man performing wudu? incorrectly. Together they arranged a plan to teach the man without insulting him, advising him in a manner befitting of his age.

They went to the man and announced, ?My brother and I have differ over who amongst us performs wudu? the best. Would you mind being the judge to determine which one of us indeed performs wudu? more correctly??

The man watched intently as the two grandsons of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam performed wudu? in an explicit manner. After they had finished, the man thanked Al Hassan wal Husayn and said, ?By Allah, I did not know how to perform wudu? before this. You have both taught me how to do it correctly.?

We must understand that there are two dimensions to hikmah. First, there is the hikmah of knowledge (hikmah ilmiyyah). And second, there is the hikmah of action (hikmah amaliyyah).

Some people may have hikmah of knowledge. However, we see that when they try correcting others, and advise them, they lack the hikmah of action. This causes many people to reject the hikmah of knowledge.

To illustrate hikmah of knowledge without hikmah of action, a brother once completed salah in a local masjid. He then proceeded to shake hands with the people on his right and left. The brother to his immediate right slapped his hand and snapped, ?That is not part of the Sunnah!?

The man replied more correctly, ?Oh, is disrespect and insult part of the Sunnah??

To show hikmah when we differ requires the following:

1. Sincerity
If we differ, our intentions should be that we are differing in the sincere hope of coming away with the truth. Our intentions should be sincerely for the sake of Allah. We should not differ just to release some hate or envy in our heart. Nor, should we differ to embarrass someone like we may have been embarrassed. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

?Whoever learns knowledge [knowledge from that which should be sought for the sake of Allah] only to receive a commodity of the material world; he shall not find the fragrance of Jannah on the Day of Resurrection? (Abu Dawood).

2. Kindness and Gentleness
To have hikmah when differing means we should rarely depart from an atmosphere of kindness and gentleness; we should seldom allow ourselves to become angry and raise our voices.

Fir?own was one of the evilest persons that lived. On the other hand, Musa alayhis sallam was one of the noblest. Look at how Allah told Musa alayhis sallam to advise Fir?own:

Go, both of you, to Fir?own. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with gentle speech, perhaps he may remember or fear [Allah].

A man once entered upon the khalifah and chastised him for some policies he had taken. The khalifah replied, ?By Allah, Fir?own was more evil than me. And by Allah, Musa alayhis sallam was more pious than you. Yet, Allah commanded him to ?speak with gentle speech; perhaps he may remember or fear (Allah).]??

3. Take Your Time and Clarify
To have hikmah when dealing with others is to be patient and clarify things before snapping to conclusions. Imam Ahmad narrates with his chain of narrators leading to Ibn Abbas, who said:

?A man from Banu Saleem passed by a group of the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam?s companions [during the time of war]. The man said as salaamu alaykum to them. The companions concluded that he only said as salamu alaykum as a deception to save himself from being caught. They surrounded him, and Malham ibn Juthaamah killed him. From that event Allah revealed the [following] verse:?

O you who have believed, when you go forth (to fight) in the cause of Allah, investigate, and do not say to one who gives you [a greeting of peace], ?You are not a believer,? aspiring for the goods of worldly life; for with Allah are many acquisitions. You [yourselves] were like that before; then Allah conferred His favor [i.e. guidance] upon you, so investigate. Indeed, Allah is aware with what you do, acquainted (An-Nisaa? 4/94).

4. Speak Kindly
Never trade-in kind words for harshness, especially when dealing with other Muslims. In Madinah, Mus?ab ibn Umayr was the first ambassador of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam. Before RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam had arrived in Madinah, Mus?ab taught ahlul-Madinah about Islam, and they began to enter the deen.

This enraged Sa?ad ibn ?Ubaadah, one of the chieftains of Madinah. He sheathed his sword and set off for the head of Mus?ab ibn ?Umayr. When he confronted Mus?ab, he threatened, ?Stop this nonsense you speak, or you shall find yourself dead!?

Mus?ab replied in the way that should be a lesson for us all. Sa?ad did not stop at rudeness and ignorance; he wanted to slit Mus?ab?s throat. But Mus?ab kindly said, ?Shall you not sit and listen for a few moments. If you agree with what I say, then take it. And if not, we shall desist from this talk.? Sa?ad sat down.

Mus?ab spoke about Allah and His Messenger until Sa?ad ibn ?Ubaadah?s face shone like a full moon. He said, ?What should a person do who wishes to enter into this Deen??

Mus?ab told him and then Sa?ad replied, ?There is a man. If he accepts this deen there shall be no home in Madinah that will not become Muslim. This man is Sa?ad ibn Mu?aadh.?

When Sa?d ibn Mu?aadh heard what was happening, he was infuriated. He left his home to go and kill this man called Mus?ab ibn Umayr for the dissention he had caused. He entered upon Mus?ab and announced, ?You shall desist of this religion you speak of or you shall find yourself dead!?

Mus?ab again kindly replied, ?Shall you not sit and listen for a few moments. If you agree with what I say then take it. And if not, I shall desist from this talk.? Sa?ad sat.

Mus?ab spoke about Allah and His messenger until Sa?ad ibn Mu?aadh?s face shone like a full moon and he asked, ?What should a person do who wishes to enter into this Deen??

Look at what a kind word did. Sa?ad ibn Mu?aadh went home to his Madinan tribe that night and announced to them all, ?Everything of yours is haram upon me until you all enter into Islam.?

That night, every home in Madinah went to bed with la ilaaha illAllah all because of a kind word.

PART II: Who Wins?
When Mu?aawiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Salami came to Madinah from the desert, he did not know that it was forbidden to speak during the salah. He relates:

?Whilst I was praying behind the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, a man sneezed. So I said, ?Yarhamuk Allah? (may Allah have mercy on you). The people glared at me, so I said, ?May my mother lose me! What is wrong with you that you are looking at me?? They began to slap their thighs with their hands, and when I saw that they were indicating that I should be quiet, I stopped talking (i.e., I nearly wanted to answer them back, but I controlled myself and kept quiet).?

?When the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam had finished praying ? may my father and mother be sacrificed for him ? he did not scold me, hit me, or put me in shame. I have never seen a better teacher than him before or since. He just said, ?This prayer should contain nothing of the speech of men; it is only tasbeeh, takbeer and recitation of the Qur?an?? (Sahih Muslim).

Islam showed us how to differ with one another. Some people think that we should never differ at all, and all disagreements should be avoided. Nay, this is an incorrect assumption, for the Qur?an and Sunnah show clearly that when a mistake is made it should be corrected. Indeed, helping others to do what is right (sincere naseeha) is a requirement of the deen.

We see when the Rasul sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam turned away from Abdullah ibn Umm Maktoom, the blind man, Allah corrected him in the Qur?an:

[The Prophet] frowned and turned away, because there came to him the blind man. But what could tell you that perchance he might become pure [from sins]? Or that he might receive admonition, and that the admonition might profit him (?Abasa 80/ 1-4)?

When Haatib ibn Abi Balta?ah radi Allahu anhu made the mistake of writing to the kuffar of Quraysh and informing them of the direction in which the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam was headed on a military campaign against them, Allah ?azza wa jall revealed the words:

O you who believe! Take not My enemies and your enemies as friends (Al-Mumtahinah 60/ 1).

Thus, we learn that when a mistake happens it should be corrected. However, the method of correction is what needs our attention.

Whenever Muslims argue, it is as if each party carries a banner of ?I must win and you must lose!? However, careful study of the Sunnah shows us that this is not always the case with the way RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam acted. Consider the following banner?s of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam:

Banner #1: I Lose and You Win
A Bedouin came to RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam and told him, ?Give me from what Allah gave you, not from the wealth of your mother nor from the wealth of your father.? The Sahaabaa were furious at the man and stepped forward to discipline him for what he said. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam commanded everyone to leave him.

Then by the hand, RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam took the Bedouin home, opened his door and said, ?Take what you wish and leave what you wish.? The man did so and after he was done, RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam asked him, ?Have I honored you??

?Yes, by Allah,? said the Bedouin. ?Ash hadu an laa ilaaha illAllah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadar RasulAllah.?

When the Sahaabaa heard of how the man changed, RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam taught them:

?Verily, the example of myself, you, and this Bedouin is that of a man who had his camel run away. The townspeople tried capturing the camel for him by running and shouting after the camel, only driving it further away. The man shouted, ?Leave me and my camel; I know my camel better.? Then he took some grass in his hand, ruffled it in front of the camel, until it came willingly. By Allah, had I left you to this Bedouin, you would have hit him, hurt him and he would have left without Islam and eventually have entered Hellfire.?

Banner #2: I Win and You Lose
A Muslim should not have an apologetic stance to everything he is confronted with. There are times when the truth must be said, when there is no room for flattery.

When the makhzoomi woman (a woman from an affluent family) stole, people approached RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam to have her punishment canceled. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam became very angry and stood on the pulpit and announced, ?By Allah, had Fatima the daughter of Muhammad stole, I would have cut her hand off.?

There is no room for flattery because the truth must be stood up for. It is here that the etiquette of disagreement should shine.

Banner #3: I Win and You Win
There doesn?t always have to be a loser. In many cases, we see that RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam gave a way out for the people he differed with.

In the letter the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam sent to Caesar, he said, ?Become Muslim and you shall be safe; Allah shall give you your reward double!?

He did not say surrender or die or anything of that nature. Rather he said become Muslim and not only shall you win but your victory shall be double.

I shall end with this shining example of how to act with other Muslims from our role model, Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu:

Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu once disputed with another companion about a tree. During the dispute Abu Bakr said something that he rather would not have said. He did not curse, he did not attack anyone?s honor, and he did not poke a fault in anyone. All he said was something that may have hurt the other companion?s feelings.

Immediately, Abu Bakr, understanding the mistake, ordered him, ?Say it back to me!?

The companion said, ?I shall not say it back.?

?Say it back to me,? said Abu Bakr, ?or I shall complain to the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam.?

The companion refused to say it back and went on his way. Abu Bakr went to RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam and related what had happened and what he said. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa salaam called that companion and asked him. ?Did Abu Bakr say so and so to you??

He said, ?Yes.?

He asked, ?What did you reply??

He said, ?I did not reply it back to him.?

RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said, ?Good, do not reply it back to him (do not hurt Abu Bakr). Rather say, ?May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr.??

The Companion turned to Abu Bakr and said, ?May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr! May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr!?

Abu Bakr cried as he walked away.

Let us develop a resolve to revive this air RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam and his companions breathed: an air of mercy, love and brotherhood.

And Allah knows best.