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By Imaam Badrud-Deen al-Ghazzee (d.984H) Learn twelve qualities of good companionship in order to further your knowledge and practice of the Religion of Allaah. Your life at the present moment is in between the past and the future. So what has preceded can be rectified by tawbah (repentance), nadam (regret) and istighfaar (seeking Allaah’s forgiveness). This is something that will neither tire you, nor cause you to toil as you would with strenuous labour. Rather it is an action of the heart. The Shaykh – rahimahullaah – said, [2] Know O pious brother – may Allaah make our affairs good – that the manners of companionship and good relationships are of various types, of which I will explain, such as will show the person of intellect the manners of the Believers and the Pious; and come to know that Allaah the Most Perfect, the Most High has made them a mercy and helpers towards each other, which is why the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘‘The example of the Believers, in their mutual love and mercy is like the example of a body, if one part feels pain, then all of the body suffers in sleeplessness and fever.’’ [3] And he (’alayhis-salaam) said, ‘‘The Believer to the Believer is like a solid building, one part supporting the other.’’ [4] The Prophet (’alayhis-salaam) also said, ‘‘The souls are arrayed armies, so those who knew each one another before, will be friendly…’’ [5] So if Allaah intends good for His servants, He grants them companionship of the people of the Sunnah, righteousness and adherence to the Religion.; and keeps him free from the companionship of the people of innovations. The Prophet (’alayhis-salaam) said, ‘‘A person is upon the religion of his friend, so let every one of you look to whom he keeps as a friend.’’ [6] ‘About a person, do not ask, but ask about his companion; Since every companion follows his friends.’ From the manners of companionship: GOOD MANNERS: Good manners with the brothers, peers and companions, following the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) as he said, when it was said to him, ‘What is the best of what a person is given?’ So he replied, ‘‘Good manners.’’ [7] MAKING ONE’S OPINION GOOD: From the manners of companionship is behaving well regarding the faults that he sees of his companions, since Ibn Maazin said, ‘The Believer seeks excuses for his brothers, whilst the hypocrite seeks out their faults.’ And Hamdoon al-Qassaar said, ‘If one of your brothers commits an error, then seek ninety excuses for him, and if not, then you are the blameworthy one.’ COMPANIONSHIP WITH THE BELIEVERS: To keep companionship with one whose Religion you trust and who is trustworthy, both inwardly and outwardly. Allaah the – Most High – says, ‘‘You will not find anyone who believes in Allaah and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allaah and His Messenger, even though they were their fathers, sons, brothers or their relatives. For such He has written eemaan (faith) in their hearts, and strengthened them with a spirit (proofs, light and guidance) from Himself. And We will admit them into gardens underneath which rivers flow, to dwell therein forever. Allaah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. They are the Party of Allaah, indeed it is the Party of Allaah that will be successful.’’ [Sooratul-Mujaadilah 58:22] FORMS OF COMPANIONSHIP: For the Shaykhs and elders: with respect to service and to carry out their needs. For those of the same peer group and those of the ‘middle rank’: with sincere advice, giving what you have and being prepared to carry out their wishes. For the students and younger ones: by guidance, teaching of manners, carrying out what knowledge demands, guidance to the manners of the Sunnah, rulings concerning the matters of the heart, and to guide them to develop good manners. OVERLOOKING MISTAKES: From the manners of companionship is overlooking mistakes of the brothers and not reprimanding them. So al-Fudayl Ibn ’Iyaad (d.187H) said, ‘Chivalry is to overlook the mistakes of the brothers.’ Ibnul-A’raabee (d.231H) said, ‘Forgetting the harms caused by the brothers, causes you love of them to persist.’ So it is binding upon the Believer, that he avoids seekers of this world, since they will bring him down to the level of seeking it, and this will distance him from his salvation and it will distance him from remaining alert and being aware of it. Rather, he must strive hard in attaining the companionship of the good and the seekers of the Hereafter. Therefore, Dhun-Noon (d.245H) said to the one whom he advised, ‘Accompany the one whom you will be safe from outwardly, and whom – when you see him – it helps you in doing good and reminds you of your Lord.’ AGREEMENT WITH THE BROTHERS: And from them is: not to differ much with the brothers, but continue agreeing with the brothers in those things allowed by knowledge and the Sharee’ah. Aboo ’Uthmaan said, ‘Agreeing with the brothers is better than showing compassion for them.’ LEAVING OF ENVY: That he does not envy the signs of Allaah’s bounty upon them. Rather, he should be happy for that and praise Allaah for it, just as he would praise Allaah if it were seen upon him. Allaah – the Most High – censures the envious one, ‘‘Or do they envy men for what Allaah has given them from His bounty.’’ [Sooratun-Nisaa‘ 4:94] The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, ‘‘Do not envy one another.’’ [8] TO KEEP A FEELING OF MODESTY: That he has hayaa‘ (modesty and shame) at all times, as he – ’alayhis-salaam – said, ‘‘Faith (eemaan) has sixty or seventy odd branches, the most excellent of them is witnessing that none has the right to be worshipped besides Allaah, and the lowest branch is removing something harmful from the road, and hayaa‘ is from eemaan.’’ [9] He – ’alayhis-salaam – also said, ‘‘Hayaa‘ is from eemaan, and eemaan is from Paradise. Speaking obscenely is from coarseness and coarseness is from the Fire.’’ [10] COMPANIONSHIP OF THE DIGNIFIED:   To accompany the one who he has a feeling of respect for, so that this prevents from acting contrary to the Sharee’ah. ’Alee (radiyallaahu ’anhu) said, ‘‘Enliven your feeling of hayaa‘ (shame), by sitting before those whom you feel shame. Ahmad Ibn Hanbal (d.241H) – rahimahullaah – said, ‘‘I have not been led into calamity except by accompanying those before whom I do not feel shame.’’ SHOWING HAPPINESS: To have cheerfulness of the face, kindness of the tongue, largeness of the heart, outspreading the hands, withholding anger, leaving off pride, keeping people’s honour in mind and showing happiness at their companionship and brotherhood. COMPANIONSHIP OF THE WISE SCHOLAR: From good companionship is that he does not accompany except a Scholar, of a person who is mild, intelligent and has knowledge. Dhun-Noon – rahimahullaah – said, ‘Allaah has not disrobed any one of His servants or a robe better than intellect, and has not adorned him with a necklace better than knowledge, nor adorned him with anything better than mildness. And the completeness of that is taqwaa (fear of Allaah).’ GIVING SINCERE ADVICE: Having a clean heart with regards to the brothers and advising them, as Allaah – the Most High – said, ‘‘Except he who comes to Allaah with a clean heart.’’ [Sooratush-Shu’araa 26:89] Saree as-Saqatee (d.257H) – rahimahullaah – said, ‘One of the best manners of righteousness is having a good heart as regards the brothers and to give them sincere advice.’ NOT BREAKING PROMISES: Since this is from hypocrisy, and he – ’alayhis-salaatu was-salaam – said, ‘‘The signs of the hypocrite are three: When he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise he breaks it and when he is entrusted he acts deceptively.’’ [11] Sufyaan ath-Thawree (d.164H) – rahimahullaah – said, ‘‘Do not make a promise to your brother and then break it, so that love turns to hate.’ Footnotes: [1] He is the muftee and faqeeh, Abul-Barakaat Badrud-Deen al-Ghazzee. For his biography, refer to Shadharaatudh-Dhahab (8/403-406) of Ibnul-’Imaad and al-A’laam (7/59) of az-Ziriklee. [2] From Aadaabul-’Ishrah wa Dhikrus-Suhbah wal-Ukhuwwah (p. 9-20) with the checking and authentication of hadeeth based upon that of Shaykh ’Alee Hasan al-Halabee and also Shaykh Mashhoor Hasan Salmaan. [3] Related by al-Bukhaaree (no. 6011) and Muslim (no. 2586), from an-Nu’maan Ibn Basheer (radiyallaahu ’anhu). [4] Related by al-Bukhaaree (no. 481) and Muslim (no. 2585), from Aboo Moosaa al-Ash’aree (radiyallaahu ’anhu). [5] Saheeh: Related by al-Bukhaaree (6/369) with ta’leeq (suspension), from ’Aa‘ishah (radiyallaahu ’anhaa). It was connected by Aboo Ya’laa in al-Musnad (no. 4381) with an isnaad whose narrators are from as-Saheeh – as occurs in al-Majma’ (8/88) of al-Haythamee. [6] Hasan: Related by Ahmad (2/303), Aboo Daawood (no. 4812) and at-Tirmidhee (no. 2484), from Aboo Hurayrah (radiyallaahu ’anhu). It was authenticated by Imaam an-Nawawee in Riyaadus-Saaliheen (no. 174). [7] Saheeh: Related by Wakee’ in az-Zuhd (no. 423), Ibn Hibbaan (1/427) and at-Tabaraanee in al-Kabeer (1/147), from Usaamah Ibn Shareek (radiyallaahu ’anhu). It was authenticated by al-Haafidh al-’Iraaqee in Takhreejul-Ihyaa‘ (2/157). [8] Related by al-Bukhaaree (10/484) and Muslim (no. 2564), from Aboo Hurayrah (radiyallaahu ’anhu). [9] Related by al-Bukhaaree (1/44) and Muslim (1/46) [10] Saheeh: Related by Ahmad (2/501) and at-Tirmidhee (no. 2077) with a saheeh isnaad, from Aboo Hurayrah (radiyallaahu ’anhu). [11] Related by al-Bukhaaree (5/289) and Muslim (1/76)

Know that having evil thoughts about someone is forbidden just as evil speech [is]. So just as it is forbidden for you to speak to others about the faults of someone, it is also forbidden for you to speak to yourself about that and to hold negative thoughts of him. Allah says:

“O you who believe, avoid much (types) of suspicion. Verily some (forms) of suspicion is a sin.” [al-Hujuraat : 12]

And Abu Hurairah, radi Allahu ‘anhu, reported that Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, said: “Beware of suspicion, for indeed suspicion is the most untruthful form of speech.”

And the ahadeeth with the meaning of what I have mentioned are many. And the meaning of this [the backbiting of the heart] is the heart concluding and judging someone with negative thoughts. But as for passing thoughts and one’s talking to himself, if these thoughts do not remain established and continuous, then he is excused, according to the consensus of the scholars, because he has no choice in this happening, and he has no means of disassociation from them. This is the understanding of what has been estabilished in the authentic texts, as the Prophet said, “Indeed, Allaah has permitted for my Ummah that which their souls whisper to them, so long as they do not speak it out (audibly) or act upon it.”

The scholars said, “This refers to the thoughts that do not establish themselves.” And they said, “This is regardless of whether this thought consists of backbiting or kufr or otherwise. So if kufr crosses someone’s mind, but it is only a thought, without the intent of acting upon it, and he then dismisses this thought immediately, he is not a kaafir, and there is no sin on him.”

We have stated in the chapter on Waswasa the authentic hadeeth in which the Companions said: “‘O Messenger of Allaah! Some of us find things in our thoughts that are too tremendous to speak of .’ So he, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, said, ‘That is the confirmation of Faith.’”, and others besides that we mentioned there that have the same meaning.

And the reason what we previously mentioned is excused is the impossibility of averting [these kinds of thoughts]. Rather, it is possible to avoid having these thoughts continuously, and this is why the heart’s persistence and fastening itself to these thoughts is forbidden [and not the thoughts themselves].

And whenever these thoughts of backbiting or other sins present themselves to you, it is obligatory on you to repel them by turning away from them and mentioning explanations that will distract from what seems apparent.

Abu Haamid al-Ghazaalee said in al-Ihyaa’, “Should evil thoughts affect your heart, then these are from the whisperings of Shaytaan, which he casts within you. So you must disavow them because Shaytaan is indeed the most evil of evildoers. And Allah has stated:

‘If a wicked person (i.e. faasiq) comes to you with news, then verify it, lest you harm people without realizing it (i.e. out of ignorance) and afterwards you become regretful for what you’ve done .’ [al-Hujuraat : 6].

Thus, it is not permissible for you to believe Iblees. And if there were an presumption that points to evil, and the opposite is possible, then holding negative thoughts is not permissable.

And among the signs of evil thoughts about someone is that your heart changes towards him from the way it used to be, and that you flee from him and find him burdensome. And that you slacken in your consideration towards him, in your hospitality to him, and in your worry when he commits bad deeds. And indeed Shaytaan comes close the heart with the smallest trace of the faults of the people, and he makes you think that [these thoughts] occur due to your sharpness, intelligence and quick alertness, and that the believer sees with the light of Allah [i.e. Allah has led him to this and not Iblees]. But this person is, in actuality, speaking with the deceptions of Shaytaan and his injustice.

And if a just person informs you of [negative things about another Muslim], then neither believe him nor disclaim him, in order that you will not have negative thoughts about either of them.

Whenever some evil thoughts about another Muslim cross your mind, then increase in your consideration towards him and kindness to him, as this will enrage Shatytaan and repel him from you so that he will not cast within you such thoughts out of his fear that you will instead preoccupy yourself with supplication for that person.

And whenever you come to know of a fault in a Muslim based on undoubtable proof, then advise him in secret and do not let Shaytaan deceive you and invite you to backbite about him. And if you admonish him, then do not admonish him while you are happy with your knowledge of his deficiency, so he looks at you with the eyes of esteem and you look at him with belittlement. Rather, intend to free him from sin while you are saddened, just as you are saddened over yourself if a deficiency enters into you. And it is necessary that his abandonment of that deficiency without your admonishment be more beloved to you than his abandoning it after your admonishment.”

These are the words of al-Ghazaali.

I say: We have mentioned that it is obligatory that if notions of negative thoughts occur to someone, that he cut them off, and this is if there is no legislated [religious] benefit that prompts him to think [about that person] in this manner. So if he is prompted, then it is permissible to think about his deficiencies as well as to investigate them, such as in calling to question certain witnesses and narrators and others we have mentioned in the chapter on Permissible Backbiting.

From Imam an-Nawawi’s al Adhkar

by Imâm al-Madîna al-Munawarrah ‘Abdul Muhsin Ibn Muhammad al-Qâsim

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All praise is due to Allaah, Lord of all the worlds. Peace and blessings be upon the Messenger, his household and companions.

Fellow Muslims! Fear Allaah as He should be feared. Fear of Allaah is a reminder for His devoted servants and it is safety from His punishment. Dear brethren! Muslim woman attains prosperity by following the path of the best women who lived in the best generation and got nurtured in the house of Prophethood. They are women of high status and outstanding estimation. Allaah praises them in the Qur’aan where He says,

 

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:32)

They are blessed and great women. Foremost among them is that intelligent and wise woman, Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid, the religious and noble woman. She grew up upon virtuous characters and manners. She was chaste and gracious. She was known among Makkah womenfolk as ‘the pure woman’. The Messenger of Allaah married her and she became an excellent wife for him. She supported him with her life, wealth and wisdom. During his sorrowful days, he would seek shelter with her and confide in her.

When the first revelation came to him he went to his wife frightened, and he said, “O Khadeejah, I fear for myself.” But Khadeejah responded to his fear with a firm heart. She told him, “By Allaah, Allaah will not disgrace you.”

Islaam started in her house and she was the first person to embrace it. Ibn al-Atheer said, “Khadeejah was the first person to embrace Islaam, according to the consensus of the Muslims. No man or woman ever embraced Islaam before her.”

At the beginning of the Prophet’s mission, he was faced with many tribulations. But she stood by him compassionately and supported him with her outstanding intelligence. Whenever he heard any undesirable words from the people and came to her, she would strengthen and console him. The Prophet said about her,

 

“She believed in me when people denied me, she trusted me when people belied me; she supported me with her wealth when people refused to support me and I was blessed with children by her when I was denied children by other women.” (Ahmad)

Khadeejah was a great and dutiful wife to her husband and an affectionate mother to her children. She gave birth to all the Prophet’s children except Ibraaheem. She was extremely good-mannered. She never argued with her husband and she never bothered him. The Messenger of Allaah said,

 

“Angel Jibreel came to me and said: ‘Give Khadeejah the good tidings that she will have a palace made of hollowed pearls in Paradise and there will be neither noise nor any trouble in it.’” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

As-Suhaylee said, “She was given the glad tiding of a house in Paradise because she never raised her voice over that of the Prophet and she never bothered him.” She was pleased with her Lord and Allaah is pleased with her.

The Prophet said, “Angel Jibreel told me:

 

‘When you come to Khadeejah, convey my Lord’s greetings to her and mine as well.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

Ibn al-Qayyim said, “Khadeejah was the only woman known to have this honour.”

Allaah loved Khadeejah, so did His angels. The Messenger of Allaah also loved her so much. He said,

 

“I am blessed with her love.” (Muslim)

Whenever the Prophet remembered her, he would mention her in glowing attributes and would show gratitude for her companionship. ‘Aaishah said, “Whenever the Messenger of Allaah remembered Khadeejah, he would never be tired of praising her and invoking Allaah’s forgiveness for her. He appreciated her love and sincerity and he would honour her friends after her death.” ‘Aaishah said, “

 

He would often slaughter a goat, cut it into parts and distribute it to Khadeejah’s friends. And whenever I asked him, ‘Are there no other women in the world except Khadeejah?’ He would say, ‘She was this and that and she bore me children.’” (Al-Bukhaaree)

After her death, Allaah’s Messenger heard her sister’s voice. He them became sad and said, “She reminded me of Khadeejah.”

Khadeejah was perfect in her religion, wisdom and conduct. The Prophet said,

 

“Many men attained perfection, but only three women attained it: Maryam, daughter of ‘Imraan [Jesus’ mother], Aasiyah, Pharaoh’s wife and Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid.” (Ibn Mardooyah)

She preceded the women of this Ummah in righteousness, nobility and splendour. Allaah’s Messenger said,

 

“Maryam [Mary, Jesus’ mother] was the best woman of her time, and the best woman of this Ummah is Khadeejah.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

Khadeejah was righteous and made her home righteous. She reaped the fruit of her labour and she and her daughter became the best of the women of the worlds in Paradise. The Prophet said,

 

“The best f the women of Paradise are: Khadeejah, Faatimah, Maryam [Mary] and ‘Aasiyah.” (Ahmad and An-Nasaa’ee)

She occupied a great place in the Prophet’s heart. He did not marry any woman before her neither did he marry any woman or have any concubine while she was still with him until she died. He was extremely distressed with her death. Adh-Dhahabee said, “Khadeejah was intelligent, gracious, religious, chaste and noble. She is one of the dwellers of Paradise.”

Dear brethren! Another great woman of the house of Prophethood is ‘Aaishah, daughter of Aboo Bakr. She was born in the house of truthfulness and piety and she was nurtured in the house of eemaan. Her mother was a companion and her sister, Asmaa, Lady of the Two Girdles and her brother were also companions. Her father is the truthful man of this Ummah. She grew up in the house of knowledge, for her father was the erudite scholar of Quraysh and the highest authority in genealogy. Allaah endowed her with outstanding intelligence and a sharp memory. Ibn Katheer said, “No nation has produced a woman as sharp, knowledgeable, fluent and intelligent as ‘Aaishah.” She excelled the women of her race in knowledge and wisdom. She was blessed with understanding of Islaamic jurisprudence and memorisation of poetry. She was in fact, a treasure of Islaamic sciences. Adh-Dhahabee said, “The most knowledgeable woman of this Ummah is ‘Aaishah. I do not know any woman from the Ummah of Muhammad or from any other nation more knowledgeable than her.”

She excelled all women with her virtues and beautiful companionship. Allaah’s Messenger said,

 

“The superiority of ‘Aaishah over other women is like the superiority of thareed [1] over other kinds of food.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim)

The Messenger of Allaah loved her; and he did not love anything but that which is pleasant.

‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas once asked Allaah’s Messenger,

 

“Who is most beloved to you of all people?” The Prophet answered, “‘Aaishah.” And he said, “And among men?” And he answered, “Her father.” (Al-Bukhaaree)

She was the only virgin the Messenger of Allah married, and the revelation did not come to him in other woman’s blanket but hers. She was chaste and devoted to her Lord. She did not go out of her house except in the night so that men could not see her. She said of herself, “We did not use to go out but only in the night.” This is in line with Allaah’s instruction,

 

“And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:33)

Al-Qurtubee said, “There are resplendent evidences in Islaam that require women to stay at home and not to go out except when necessary. And when it becomes necessary for them to go out they should do so with complete covering of themselves and their adornments.”

Allaah puts whomever He wills to test, and the test is in accordance with one’s eemaan. ‘Aaishah was slandered while she was only twelve. She said, narrating her ordeal in this incidence, “I wept and I could not sleep and I just kept weeping until my parents thought that my liver would burst from weeping.” She said that the trial was so severe that she would weep but could not find any more tears to shed.

Ibn Katheer said, “So Allaah decided to defend her honour, and He revealed ten verses to absolve her. This elevated her status and these verses were recited and they shall continue to be recited till the Day of Resurrection. Allaah testified that she was one of the purest women and promised her forgiveness and a generous provision.

She spent nights caring for the Prophet in his illness until he died in her apartment, on her day and in her bosom.

Sawdah bint Zam‘ah is another of the Prophet’s noble wives. She was pure-hearted and the first woman he married after the death of Khadeejah. She was his only wife for about three years. She was gracious and noble, and the purity of her heart manifested when she gave her days with the Prophet to ‘Aaishah out of consideration for her husband’s feelings and in order to earn reward of her Lord.

Another great woman in the Prophet’s household is Hafsah, daughter of ‘Umar. She was given to observing prayers in the night and performing supererogatory fasting. She grew up in a house in which the cause of Islaam was supported and truth was given prominence. Seven members of her family participated in the battle of Badr. ‘Aaishah said of her, “She was my only competitor among the Prophet’s wives.”

There is also Zaynab bint Khuzaymah al-Hilaaliyyah who was very generous and hastened to perform righteous deeds. She lived with Allaah’s Messenger for only two months and then died.

Another distinguished woman in the house of Prophethood is Umm Habeebah daughter of Aboo Sufyaan, the emigrant and the one who was given to performing meritorious deeds. She was the closest to the Prophet of his wives in terms of blood relation. There was no one among his wives who was more generous than her as far as charity giving is concerned. She migrated to Abyssinia, escaping with her religion. The king of Abyssinia paid her bridal gift on the Prophet’s behalf and got her ready for him.

Another outstanding wife of the Prophet was Umm Salamah, the patient and noble woman. Her name is Hind bint Abee Umayyah, one of the earliest emigrants. When she wanted to migrate to al-Madeenah with her husband Aboo Salamah, her clan separated between her and her husband and son. She said, “Every morning I would go to Abtah [a valley in Makkah] and I would keep weeping until evening. I did so for a whole year or close to a year. They later pitied me and gave my son back to me.”

Her sure faith in Allaah was firm-rooted. When her first husband died, she said the invocation that Allaah’s Messenger taught her, so Allaah gave her a better husband in the person of Allaah’s Messenger. Umm Salamah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said,

 

“If any Muslim who suffers some calamity says what Allaah has commanded him,” We belong to Allaah and to Him we shall return; O Allaah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange,” Allah will give him something better than it in exchange.’” When Abu Salamah died she said: ‘Which Muslim is better than Abu Salamah whose family was the first to emigrate to the Messenger of Allaah?’ I then said those words, and Allaah gave me the Prophet in exchange.” (Muslim)

Make this supplication your treasure during afflictions, Allaah will provide you with what is better.

Dear brethren! There is a woman among the Prophet’s wives known as Mother of the Poor. She is Zaynab bint Jahsh whose mother is the Prophet’s aunt. She enjoyed nobility of birth and character. She was described by Aboo Nu’aym as, ‘devoted and contented woman’. Allaah married her to His Prophet through an explicit verse from His Book,

 

“So when Zaid had accomplished his desire from her (i.e. divorced her), We gave her to you in marriage.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:37)

Her marriage to the Prophet is a blessing to the Muslim women till the day of Resurrection, for it was after her marriage that Allaah ordained hijaab for the women so that it could serve as a symbol of protection for their honour, chastity and purity.

Zaynab was extremely generous to the poor and the weak. She was highly charitable. In spite of her nobility and high status, she used to work with her hands, tanning and making beads. And she would spend the proceeds for the poor. ‘Aaishah said, “I have not seen a woman better in her adherence to religion, more pious, kinder to the kith and kin and more generous in giving charity than Zaynab.”

Juwayriyyah bint al-Haarith from the tribe of Banoo al-Mustaliq is another of the Prophet’s distinguished wives. Her father was the influential chief of his tribe. She was in herself blessed as she was blessed to her tribe. ‘Aaishah said, “I have not seen a woman who is greater in blessing to her people more than her.” She was given to performing much acts of worship for her Lord. She sincerely and devotedly worshiped her Lord. She would sit down in her prayer place remembering her Lord after Fajr until mid-noon. She said

 

, “The Messenger of Allaah came to me one morning while I was glorifying Allaah. He then went out for some of his needs. When he came back just before mid-noon he said, ‘Are you still there remembering Allaah?’ And I said, ‘Yes.’” (Muslim)

 

Another honourable wife of Allaah’s Messenger is the beautiful Safiyyah bint Huyayy, a descendant of Prophet Haaroon [Aaron]. She was a noble and intelligent woman. She was highly-placed, religious, deliberate and peace-loving. The Messenger of Allaah told her, “Indeed, you are a daughter of a Prophet [meaning Aaron], your uncle is a Prophet [meaning Moses]; and you are also married to a Prophet.” (At-Tirmidhee)

The feast of her marriage to the Prophet comprised only of butter, cottage cheese and dates. But the marriage was blessed.

Maymoonah bint al-Haarith al-Hilaaliyyah, the woman who was given to being kind to the kith and kin is another eminent wife of the Prophet. She was one of the greatest women. Allaah endowed her with pure heart and performance of much acts of worship. ‘Aaishah said about her, “She was one of the most pious and most generous to the kith and kin among us.”

Fellow Muslims! That is the history of the outstanding women of Islaam, mothers of the faithful. Their virtues are glowing. They had combination of beauties and virtues. It is therefore, incumbent upon Muslim women to make them their models in matters of their religion, their submission to Allaah and His Messenger, their conduct, their consciousness of Allaah, their performance of acts of worship, their truthfulness in words and their spending for the poor. They need to emulate them in their alleviation of other people’s sufferings; and in their efforts to make their children righteous, correct them with patience and in seeking fortification through knowledge and learning from erudite scholars.

They need to emulate them in keeping themselves properly covered, maintaining their chastity, staying at their homes and keeping away from doubtful and lustful things. They should emulate them by avoiding pinning their hopes on this world, heedlessness and forgetfulness or being carried away by outward beauties while the inward is corrupt.

The Muslim women should avoid looking at forbidden things and engaging in amorous conversations with alien men. They should beware of those who are calling to the removal of hijaab and mixing with men.

Muslim woman’s greatness and glory lie in her religion and her hijaab. Allaah says,

 

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Al-Israa 33:59)

Dear Muslims! The Prophet’s wives lived with him humbly in apartments built of brick and palm leaves, but full of eemaan and piety. They showed patience with the Messenger of Allaah over poverty and hunger. Sometimes, a month or two would pass with no cooking fire kindled in their homes. They would spend days with nothing to eat but only dates and water. Sometimes they would make do with water only. Yet they lived in contentedness and patience upon Allaah’s promise that,

 

“The Hereafter is better for you than the present (life of this world).” (Ad-Duhaa 93:4)

And His promise,

 

“And whosoever of you is obedient to Allaah and His Messenger and does righteous good deeds, We shall give her, her reward twice over, and We have prepared for her a noble provision.” (Al-Ahzaab 33:31)

Brethren in Islaam! The Prophet married five of his wives with their ages ranging between forty and sixty. By that he was able to lay an example in taking care of the widow and their orphaned children. He married Khadeejah while she was forty years old, with three children from the previous marriage, while he was unmarried before. He married Zaynab bint Khuzaymah who was an almost sixty-year-old widow. He married Umm Salamah who was a widow with six children. He married Sawdah who was a fifty-five years old widow.

He married some relatives from among his cousins. And he married some women who were not his relatives.

He was a compassionate, dutiful and honourable husband to them all. He lived with them in the most beautiful way. He was always cheerful and kind to them.

Therefore, let those who want to prosper emulate the Messenger of Allaah, who is the best of all creatures. Let the Muslim women follow the path of the righteous wives of the Prophet. For, there is no success for any woman except by following the path of these pious ladies in their righteousness and God-consciousness and in their dutifulness to their husband and children.

[1] Thareed is a dish of sopped bread, meat and broth.

source: http://www.islaam.net/

The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relation established between them.

Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations. Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations.

In the context of marriage there is one very important difference between man and women: women are the ones who can bear and nurse children. This is an extremely important responsibility. On the other hand Islam assigned the husbands the responsibility of financially supporting their wives. This allows women to concentrate on what is really important, their families. And then men are also given the position of leadership to balance their greater responsibility of support. The husband and the wife are a complementary pair. Each has his own designated role and responsibilities. Together they complete the family. And that’s why Islam has set the basics on which marriage should be built.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Men are the supporters of women, because Allah has stowed on the one more than the other, and for what they have to provide (for them) from their sources. So the righteous women are obedient and protect in the absence of their husbands that which God ordains to be protected.”(Qur’an 4:34)

There is much debate and difference of opinion among Muslims regarding the right meaning of this verse. Some people read it to give a great deal of power and authority to the husbands; others seek to place restrictions on men.

The reason that men have been given authority over their wives is that they are completely financially responsible for their wives. Even if a woman is wealthy, she is not required to spend any of her money to support the family; the obligation falls completely on her husband. She may share him the responsibility if she wants, but this is not an obligation. Her own money is hers to use as she chooses and her husband can’t take it without her permission.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And give the women their dowries as a present, but if they are happy to offer you any of it, accept with happiness and with wholesome pleasure” (Qur’an 4:4)

However the wife must obey her husband and support him. But this doesn’t mean that “obedience” referred to is not unquestioning obedience to whatever command the husband happens to give, but rather refers to accepting the husband’s decision as final.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And the believing men and the believing women, they are the friends of each other, they enjoin good and forbid evil, and establish prayers, and pay the alms, and obey God and His Messenger, these, upon them God will have mercy, indeed, God is almighty, All-wise.” (Qur’an 9:71)

Obedience of the husband is compulsory on the wife. If, without any lawful reason, she refuses to obey the orders of her husband, she will be liable to the Wrath and Curse of Allah until she returns to obedience.

The husband is given the permission in Islam to hit his wife (slightly) or stays away from her if she is recalcitrant. Nearly all modern Islamic scholars have agreed that these three steps must be taken in sequence. Meaning: first the husband sets out verbally why he thinks his wife’s conduct is wrong. If that doesn’t then he may separate from her in bed. If that still doesn’t work, then finally he may hit her (yet not harshly, just slightly to show her that she did something wrong).

However, “recalcitrance” is not simply disagreeing with the husband; it is rather a refusal to agree, a rejection of the husband’s right to leadership.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

“The rights your wife has on you are) that you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and that you do not hit her on the face or call her ugly, and that you do not separate from her except in the house.”(Narrated by Mu’awiya Al-Qushayri.

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) also said:

“Be in awe of God in (the matter of) women, for you have taken them by the trust of God, and made their bodies lawful for you by the word of God. And your right upon them is that they do not allow among your furnishings anybody you do not like, and if they do, you may hit them, as long as it is not injurious. And their right on you is that you support them and clothe them in honor.”(From the Farewell Sermon, reported by Jabir).

Here we learn that the admonishment should not involve insulting the wife, such as calling her ugly or other types of psychological abuse. Also separating from her or staying away from her is done only in private; the husband should not shun his wife in public and thus expose her to shame or ridicule from others. The hitting must not be on the face. The hitting should not be “injurious”. Muslims should follow the Prophet’s (PBUH) explanation of the Holy Qur’an and to abide by these rules.

However, it should be noted that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) never hit any of his wives, and said that men who did “are not the best of you, by God!” The Prophet (PBUH) is set as a beautiful example for Muslims and all Muslim men should strive to follow him.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Surely there is for you the best example in the Messenger of God, for whoever seeks the pleasure of God and the Last Day (Day of Judgment), and remembers God often.”(Qur’an 33:21)

On the other hand wives have been given permission to seek remedy for their husbands’ recalcitrance. The Arabic word, Nushuz, is used as for the wife’s recalcitrance. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And if a wife fears cruelty or desertion from her husband, there is no blame on them if they reconciliate them, reconciliation between them is far better, and souls are prone to avarice. But if you do good and are God fearing then surely God is aware of what you do-” (Qur’an 4:128)

And if there is a dispute between the married couple, a member of each family can be brought in to resolve it. The point is that, in Islam women have rights over their husbands the same way husbands have rights over them.

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And if you fear disunity between them, then send an arbiter from his side and an arbiter from her side. If they wish for reconciliation God will affect harmony between them, surely God is All-knowing, Al-Aware.” (Qur’an 4:35)

Now let’s bring some more focus on how the husband should treat his wife as God has asked Muslim men to:

It is not demeaning if the husband shares in the responsibility of house matters, such as the mending of garments or things of the kind. Also it shows good manners that the husband helps his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has just gave birth or similar to that. For Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) used to fix his shoes, and used to be helpful to his wives.

Al-Aswad narrated: “I asked Aicha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him, do at home?’ She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the call for the prayer, he would go out.’” [Bukhari].

A good husband is he who cooperates with his wife by being tender and kind to her. Islam considers husbands who are best at helping their wives are the best of mankind.

Also the husband should set a specific time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. The relationship between a married couple cannot be warm and stable unless the couple begins removing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of, it shows her that he loves her.

Also, let’s keep in mind that nobody is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not meet his natural preferences. If such qualities are not opposing the fundaments of the Islam or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not push her to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.

Islam states that a husband should not try to expose his wife’s bad qualities, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between them, and will surely threaten their marital life. So the husband should overlook his wife’s drawbacks and mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like something small.

Also the husband should not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to Islam, which a wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main reason that stirs the husband’s anger.

The woman is the head of the house, the one responsible for it. So the husband should not meddle into affairs that do not fall into his area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house.

Also Islam forbids the husband fro scolding his wife or blame her for a mistake she made, in front of others, even if they are their own children.

Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”

Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of the wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows the husband’s love and care for her, provided that the husband does not go to extremes in his jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something negative and will badly affect their life.

Moreover the husband should not enter the house suddenly, for he might shock his wife, he should prepare her for his coming, and when he comes in he should greet her with Salaam (Islam greeting).

Aicha (one of Prophet Mohammad’s wives) has narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his lips.

And ask about her and how she is doing.

Also husbands and wives should beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters they have with each other, for that is something forbidden in Islam.

The husband is also asked to take care of the way he looks the way the wife is asked to look beautiful in the eyes of her husband. The husband should constantly maintain the cleaning of his mouth and the freshening of his breath.

Showing respect and kindness to the wife’s family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.

When a husband speaks to his wife, he must choose the kindest and nicest words and expressions for his speech. And not to reprimand her in front of others or in front of the children. Same thing goes for the wife; she should be kind and talk to her husband using nice and sweet words.

Also it is not proper for a husband to force his wife to look for work or to spend her wealth on supporting the house, for this is his responsibility.

Source: missionIslam

By Muhammad Alshareef

One day, Imam Malik entered Masjid An-Nabawi after Asr, and sat down towards the front of the masjid. RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam had commanded that anyone who enters the masjid should not sit until he first prays 2 raka? as a salutation to the masjid. However, Imam Malik was of the opinion that RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam?s forbiddance of praying after Asr took precedence over tahiyyatul masjid. Therefore, Imam Mailk would teach his students to not pray the tahiyyatul masjid if they entered the masjid between Asr and Maghrib time.

At the moment that Imam Malik sat down, a young boy had seen him sit without first praying the 2 raka? of tahiyyatul masjid. The young boy scorned him saying, ?Get up and pray 2 raka?!?

Imam Malik dutifully stood up and began praying the 2 raka?. The students were stunned; what was going on? Had Imam Malik changed his opinion?

After he had completed the salah, the students swarmed around him and questioned his actions. Imam Malik said, ?My opinion has not changed, nor have I gone back on what I taught you earlier. I merely feared that had I not prayed the 2 raka? as the young boy commanded, Allah may include me in the ayah:

And when it is said to them, ?Bow (in prayer),? they do not bow (Al-Mursalat 77/48).

Imam Ahmad held the opinion that eating camel meat nullifies ones wudu?; an opinion that the majority of scholars differed from. Some students asked him, ?If you find an Imam eating camel meat in front of you and, without first making wudu?, he leads salah, would you pray behind him??

Imam Ahmad replied, ?Do you think I would not pray behind the likes of Imam Malik and Sa?eed ibn Al-Musayyab??

Allah created humans with differences, and this is the law of creation. On the outside, we all have different languages, different colors, and different cultures. However on the inside, humans were created with many degrees of knowledge, intellect, and comprehension of concepts. This is all a sign of Allah?s all encompassing power to do whatever He wills:

And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colors. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge (Ar-Room 30/22).

Humans shall differ, but this is not the issue. The real issue is how a Muslim should confront these differences of opinions, and what should be our relationship with someone of a different opinion.

Allah ta?ala commanded us to call and advise people in this Deen of Al-Islam. Many Muslims set off on this mission blindfolded, not realizing that the map is already in the Qur?an. In fact, in the very same verse where Allah commanded us to call and advise people in this Deen, Allah also taught us how to do it. Read the following verse carefully:

Invite [fi?l Amr ? Allah is commanding] to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction and argue with them in a way that is best (An-Nahl 16/25).

There is no need to philosophize or talk in flower gardens. It is right there, plain and simple for anyone who would take heed. There, in that aayah, are the three ingredients to apply when we disagree with someone. The same Allah that taught us to debate the truth also taught us how to do it: with hikmah, good instruction, and to argue in a way that is best.

What does it mean to have hikmah (wisdom) when differing with someone?

The nephews of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam once set one of the most beautiful examples of hikmah in advising others. In their young age, Al-Hassan wal Husayn saw an elderly man performing wudu? incorrectly. Together they arranged a plan to teach the man without insulting him, advising him in a manner befitting of his age.

They went to the man and announced, ?My brother and I have differ over who amongst us performs wudu? the best. Would you mind being the judge to determine which one of us indeed performs wudu? more correctly??

The man watched intently as the two grandsons of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam performed wudu? in an explicit manner. After they had finished, the man thanked Al Hassan wal Husayn and said, ?By Allah, I did not know how to perform wudu? before this. You have both taught me how to do it correctly.?

We must understand that there are two dimensions to hikmah. First, there is the hikmah of knowledge (hikmah ilmiyyah). And second, there is the hikmah of action (hikmah amaliyyah).

Some people may have hikmah of knowledge. However, we see that when they try correcting others, and advise them, they lack the hikmah of action. This causes many people to reject the hikmah of knowledge.

To illustrate hikmah of knowledge without hikmah of action, a brother once completed salah in a local masjid. He then proceeded to shake hands with the people on his right and left. The brother to his immediate right slapped his hand and snapped, ?That is not part of the Sunnah!?

The man replied more correctly, ?Oh, is disrespect and insult part of the Sunnah??

To show hikmah when we differ requires the following:

1. Sincerity
If we differ, our intentions should be that we are differing in the sincere hope of coming away with the truth. Our intentions should be sincerely for the sake of Allah. We should not differ just to release some hate or envy in our heart. Nor, should we differ to embarrass someone like we may have been embarrassed. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:

?Whoever learns knowledge [knowledge from that which should be sought for the sake of Allah] only to receive a commodity of the material world; he shall not find the fragrance of Jannah on the Day of Resurrection? (Abu Dawood).

2. Kindness and Gentleness
To have hikmah when differing means we should rarely depart from an atmosphere of kindness and gentleness; we should seldom allow ourselves to become angry and raise our voices.

Fir?own was one of the evilest persons that lived. On the other hand, Musa alayhis sallam was one of the noblest. Look at how Allah told Musa alayhis sallam to advise Fir?own:

Go, both of you, to Fir?own. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with gentle speech, perhaps he may remember or fear [Allah].

A man once entered upon the khalifah and chastised him for some policies he had taken. The khalifah replied, ?By Allah, Fir?own was more evil than me. And by Allah, Musa alayhis sallam was more pious than you. Yet, Allah commanded him to ?speak with gentle speech; perhaps he may remember or fear (Allah).]??

3. Take Your Time and Clarify
To have hikmah when dealing with others is to be patient and clarify things before snapping to conclusions. Imam Ahmad narrates with his chain of narrators leading to Ibn Abbas, who said:

?A man from Banu Saleem passed by a group of the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam?s companions [during the time of war]. The man said as salaamu alaykum to them. The companions concluded that he only said as salamu alaykum as a deception to save himself from being caught. They surrounded him, and Malham ibn Juthaamah killed him. From that event Allah revealed the [following] verse:?

O you who have believed, when you go forth (to fight) in the cause of Allah, investigate, and do not say to one who gives you [a greeting of peace], ?You are not a believer,? aspiring for the goods of worldly life; for with Allah are many acquisitions. You [yourselves] were like that before; then Allah conferred His favor [i.e. guidance] upon you, so investigate. Indeed, Allah is aware with what you do, acquainted (An-Nisaa? 4/94).

4. Speak Kindly
Never trade-in kind words for harshness, especially when dealing with other Muslims. In Madinah, Mus?ab ibn Umayr was the first ambassador of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam. Before RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam had arrived in Madinah, Mus?ab taught ahlul-Madinah about Islam, and they began to enter the deen.

This enraged Sa?ad ibn ?Ubaadah, one of the chieftains of Madinah. He sheathed his sword and set off for the head of Mus?ab ibn ?Umayr. When he confronted Mus?ab, he threatened, ?Stop this nonsense you speak, or you shall find yourself dead!?

Mus?ab replied in the way that should be a lesson for us all. Sa?ad did not stop at rudeness and ignorance; he wanted to slit Mus?ab?s throat. But Mus?ab kindly said, ?Shall you not sit and listen for a few moments. If you agree with what I say, then take it. And if not, we shall desist from this talk.? Sa?ad sat down.

Mus?ab spoke about Allah and His Messenger until Sa?ad ibn ?Ubaadah?s face shone like a full moon. He said, ?What should a person do who wishes to enter into this Deen??

Mus?ab told him and then Sa?ad replied, ?There is a man. If he accepts this deen there shall be no home in Madinah that will not become Muslim. This man is Sa?ad ibn Mu?aadh.?

When Sa?d ibn Mu?aadh heard what was happening, he was infuriated. He left his home to go and kill this man called Mus?ab ibn Umayr for the dissention he had caused. He entered upon Mus?ab and announced, ?You shall desist of this religion you speak of or you shall find yourself dead!?

Mus?ab again kindly replied, ?Shall you not sit and listen for a few moments. If you agree with what I say then take it. And if not, I shall desist from this talk.? Sa?ad sat.

Mus?ab spoke about Allah and His messenger until Sa?ad ibn Mu?aadh?s face shone like a full moon and he asked, ?What should a person do who wishes to enter into this Deen??

Look at what a kind word did. Sa?ad ibn Mu?aadh went home to his Madinan tribe that night and announced to them all, ?Everything of yours is haram upon me until you all enter into Islam.?

That night, every home in Madinah went to bed with la ilaaha illAllah all because of a kind word.

PART II: Who Wins?
When Mu?aawiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Salami came to Madinah from the desert, he did not know that it was forbidden to speak during the salah. He relates:

?Whilst I was praying behind the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, a man sneezed. So I said, ?Yarhamuk Allah? (may Allah have mercy on you). The people glared at me, so I said, ?May my mother lose me! What is wrong with you that you are looking at me?? They began to slap their thighs with their hands, and when I saw that they were indicating that I should be quiet, I stopped talking (i.e., I nearly wanted to answer them back, but I controlled myself and kept quiet).?

?When the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam had finished praying ? may my father and mother be sacrificed for him ? he did not scold me, hit me, or put me in shame. I have never seen a better teacher than him before or since. He just said, ?This prayer should contain nothing of the speech of men; it is only tasbeeh, takbeer and recitation of the Qur?an?? (Sahih Muslim).

Islam showed us how to differ with one another. Some people think that we should never differ at all, and all disagreements should be avoided. Nay, this is an incorrect assumption, for the Qur?an and Sunnah show clearly that when a mistake is made it should be corrected. Indeed, helping others to do what is right (sincere naseeha) is a requirement of the deen.

We see when the Rasul sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam turned away from Abdullah ibn Umm Maktoom, the blind man, Allah corrected him in the Qur?an:

[The Prophet] frowned and turned away, because there came to him the blind man. But what could tell you that perchance he might become pure [from sins]? Or that he might receive admonition, and that the admonition might profit him (?Abasa 80/ 1-4)?

When Haatib ibn Abi Balta?ah radi Allahu anhu made the mistake of writing to the kuffar of Quraysh and informing them of the direction in which the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam was headed on a military campaign against them, Allah ?azza wa jall revealed the words:

O you who believe! Take not My enemies and your enemies as friends (Al-Mumtahinah 60/ 1).

Thus, we learn that when a mistake happens it should be corrected. However, the method of correction is what needs our attention.

Whenever Muslims argue, it is as if each party carries a banner of ?I must win and you must lose!? However, careful study of the Sunnah shows us that this is not always the case with the way RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam acted. Consider the following banner?s of RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam:

Banner #1: I Lose and You Win
A Bedouin came to RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam and told him, ?Give me from what Allah gave you, not from the wealth of your mother nor from the wealth of your father.? The Sahaabaa were furious at the man and stepped forward to discipline him for what he said. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam commanded everyone to leave him.

Then by the hand, RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam took the Bedouin home, opened his door and said, ?Take what you wish and leave what you wish.? The man did so and after he was done, RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam asked him, ?Have I honored you??

?Yes, by Allah,? said the Bedouin. ?Ash hadu an laa ilaaha illAllah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadar RasulAllah.?

When the Sahaabaa heard of how the man changed, RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam taught them:

?Verily, the example of myself, you, and this Bedouin is that of a man who had his camel run away. The townspeople tried capturing the camel for him by running and shouting after the camel, only driving it further away. The man shouted, ?Leave me and my camel; I know my camel better.? Then he took some grass in his hand, ruffled it in front of the camel, until it came willingly. By Allah, had I left you to this Bedouin, you would have hit him, hurt him and he would have left without Islam and eventually have entered Hellfire.?

Banner #2: I Win and You Lose
A Muslim should not have an apologetic stance to everything he is confronted with. There are times when the truth must be said, when there is no room for flattery.

When the makhzoomi woman (a woman from an affluent family) stole, people approached RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam to have her punishment canceled. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam became very angry and stood on the pulpit and announced, ?By Allah, had Fatima the daughter of Muhammad stole, I would have cut her hand off.?

There is no room for flattery because the truth must be stood up for. It is here that the etiquette of disagreement should shine.

Banner #3: I Win and You Win
There doesn?t always have to be a loser. In many cases, we see that RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam gave a way out for the people he differed with.

In the letter the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam sent to Caesar, he said, ?Become Muslim and you shall be safe; Allah shall give you your reward double!?

He did not say surrender or die or anything of that nature. Rather he said become Muslim and not only shall you win but your victory shall be double.

I shall end with this shining example of how to act with other Muslims from our role model, Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu:

Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu once disputed with another companion about a tree. During the dispute Abu Bakr said something that he rather would not have said. He did not curse, he did not attack anyone?s honor, and he did not poke a fault in anyone. All he said was something that may have hurt the other companion?s feelings.

Immediately, Abu Bakr, understanding the mistake, ordered him, ?Say it back to me!?

The companion said, ?I shall not say it back.?

?Say it back to me,? said Abu Bakr, ?or I shall complain to the Messenger of Allah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam.?

The companion refused to say it back and went on his way. Abu Bakr went to RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam and related what had happened and what he said. RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa salaam called that companion and asked him. ?Did Abu Bakr say so and so to you??

He said, ?Yes.?

He asked, ?What did you reply??

He said, ?I did not reply it back to him.?

RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said, ?Good, do not reply it back to him (do not hurt Abu Bakr). Rather say, ?May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr.??

The Companion turned to Abu Bakr and said, ?May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr! May Allah forgive you O Abu Bakr!?

Abu Bakr cried as he walked away.

Let us develop a resolve to revive this air RasulAllah sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam and his companions breathed: an air of mercy, love and brotherhood.

And Allah knows best.

A Khutbah for the Muslim Woman

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When news of the Christian army that had prepared on the horizons to wipe out Islam reached him, Abu Qudaamah Ash-Shaamee moved quickly to the Mimbar of the Masjid.  In a powerful and emotional speech, Abu Qudaamah ignited the desire of the community to defend their land, Jihad for the sake of Allah.  As he left the Masjid, walking down a dark and secluded alley, a women stopped him and said, “As salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaah!”  Abu Qudaamah stopped and did not answer. She repeated her salam again, adding “this is not how pious people should act.” She stepped forward from the shadows.  “I heard you in the Masjid encouraging the believers to go for Jihad and all I have is this…” She handed him two long braids. “It can be used for a horse rein.  Perhaps Allah may write me as one of those who went for Jihaad.”

The next day as that Muslim village set out to confront the crusader army, a young boy ran through the gathering and stood at the hooves of Abu Qudaamah’s horse.  “I ask you by Allah to allow me to join the army.” Some of the elder fighters laughed at the boy.  “The horses will trample you,” they said.  But Abu Qudaamah looked down into his eyes as he asked again, “I ask you by Allah, let me join.”  Abu Qudaamah then said, “On one condition, if you are killed you will take me with you to Jannah amongst those you will be allowed to intercede for.”  That young boy smiled.  “It’s a promise.”

When the two armies met and the fighting intensified, the young boy on the back of Abu Qudaamah’s horse asked, “I ask you by Allah to give me 3 arrows.”  “You’ll lose them!”  The boy repeated, “I ask you by Allah to give me them.”  Abu Qudaamah gave him the arrows and the boy took aim. “Bismillaah!” The arrow flew and killed a Roman. “Bismillaah!” The second arrow flew, killing a second Roman. “Bismillaah!” The third arrow flew, killing a third Roman. An arrow then struck the boy in the chest - knocking him off the horse.  Abu Qudaamah jumped down to his side, reminding the boy in his final breaths, “Don’t forget the promise!” The boy reached into his pocket, extracted a pouch and said, “Please return this to my mother.”  “Who’s your mother?” asked Abu Qudaamah. “The women that gave you the braids yesterday.”

Think about this Muslimah.  How did she reach this level of Taqwa where she would sacrifice her hair when today other women do the same to imitate Kafir icons, and her son when other women would die so long as their son stayed home.  Indeed, she spent her life in the obedience of Allah, and when exam time came, she passed. Not only did she pass herself, but her children shone with that same beauty of Iman, children that she herself raised.

Very often - and perhaps in our times when we have forgotten much of the Sunnah - the lectures, khutbahs, and talks are all directed to the Muslim men.  We forget that from the Hady – guidance and way – of Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - was that he would allocate a specific day of the week to teach the women. Women would come up to him in Hajj, in the street, even in his home and ask him questions about the Deen.  At the Eid Salah, after addressing the men, he would take Bilal and go to the women section and address the women.  Allah revealed an entire Surah by the name of Surah An-Nisa – the Women.  And another by the name of – Maryam.  And a third by the name of al Mujaadalah – the women who pleads.  It is in enlivening this Sunnah that today this speech shall be addressed to the believing women, al-Mu’minaat.

Dear Sister, Dear Mother, Dear Daughter.  Everyone is looking for happiness and fun, and I am sure you are not excluded.  Where is that happiness and fun though?  And where and when do you want that happiness?  Do you want happiness, do you want to have `fun’ in this life at the expense of the hereafter?  Or is it in the hereafter, when you meet Allah that you want to be happy?

Every where you go you shall find a swarm of people and media and culture swearing to you that happiness is the happiness of the Dunya. Is it really happiness though?  On the day of Repayment, Allah shall take the most `happiest’ kafir of the Dunya and dip him in Jahannam – Hellfire.  Then he shall ask him, “Have you ever seen any happiness?” The Kafir will say, “Never!”

Nay, the happiness is only the happiness of the hereafter no matter what happens in this Dunya.  Allah shall bring on the Day of Repayment the most tested human and dip him in Jannah – Paradise.  He shall then ask him, “Have you ever seen sadness?”  And that person shall say, “Never!”

And don’t think that this happiness and fun is exclusive to the hereafter.  It is very much tied to this life as well.  Listen and understand the words of Allah:

Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer verily to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter). – Surah AnNahl (16/97)

Dear Sister, you have to understand that you or anyone may enter Hellfire!  By Allah, we are not better than Fatimah, the daughter of Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam.  And he said to her, “O Fatimah the daughter of Muhammad, Ask me whatever you wish from my wealth, for I shall avail you nothing to Allah.”  Meaning that it doesn’t matter if you’re my daughter, if you don’t work for Jannah, saying to Allah that my father is so and so will not help you in anyway.

Islam is filled with many Mu’minahs that completed their Taqwa of Allah.  When the other girls put up posters of kafir singers and kafir athletes and kafir actresses, you should put up posters in your heart of Fatimah and many other Mu’minahs.

Aasiyah, the wife of Fir’own. Her Eeman in Allah thrived under the shadow of someone that said, “I am your Lord, Most High!” When news reached Fir’own of his wife’s Eeman he beat her and commanded his guards to beat her. They took her out in the scalding noon heat, tied her hands and feet and beat her perpetually. Who did she turn to? She turned to Allah! She prayed, “My lord, build for me a home with you in Paradise and save me from Fir’own and his deeds and save me from the transgressive people.”

It was narrated that when she said this, the sky opened for her and she saw her home in Paradise. She smiled. The guards watched astonished - she’s being tortured and she smiles? Frustrated, Fir’own commanded a boulder to be brought and dropped on Aasiyah, to crush her to death. But Allah took her soul before the boulder was brought and she became an example for all the believing men and women till the end of time:

[And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe: the wife of Fir’own (Pharaoh) – when she said, “My Lord, Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir’own and his deeds, and save me from the transgressive-disbelieving people.] -Tahreem 66/11

When we talk about Jihad and Shuhadaa’ - martyrs, do you know who the first Muslim in Islam to be killed in the path of Allah was?  It was Summayah, the mother of Ammar.  When Abu Jahl heard of her Islam and her husband Yaasir and her son Ammar, he whipped them all and beat them. So much so, that Rasul Allah would pass by them as they went through this test of their Iman and would say to them, “Be patient O family of Yaasir, for you have a date set (when you shall enter) Jannah!”

As Abu Jahl beat Sumayyah one day, she refused to recant her Deen, something that enraged Abu Jahl. He took a spear as she lay on the burning sand, looking up to the sky, and he speared her through her midsection.  She was the first of her family and the entire Ummah to meet Allah as a Martyr.

Dear Sister, our role models come from the Quran.  You may have heard the story of the boy and the  king. When the entire village became Muslim by the death of that young boy, the king ordered that an enormous fire be kindled and that all those who would not recant their religion be burnt alive.  A Mu’minah, stood with her baby over the fire. She looked at her baby, and seeking her child’s weakness and innocence, she considered turning her back.  The baby said to her, “What are you waiting for mother.  Go forward for you are on the truth!”  She nodded.  Then with her baby in hand she was pushed to her death.

[And they ill-treated them for no other reason than that they believed in Allah, Exalted in Power, Worthy of all Praise!- * Him to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And Allah is Witness to all things.]. - Surah AlBuruj, 8,9

And dear sister, your role models come to you from today.  As her son tells us, a senior women in a Muslim land decided that all the vanity that normally happens in the gatherings of women was not for her.  She turned to Salah and praying at night, and in her old age, she found herself calling to her so  one night from her prayer room.  He son says, “I came in and she was in Sajda saying that she was paralysed!” Her son took her to the doctors and she began a cycle of rehabilitation, but there was little hope. She then commanded her son to take her back home, take her back to her prayer room, take her back to that Sajdah.  As she prayed to Allah in her sajdah, the night came when she called to her son.  “Astawdi’ukallaah alladhee laa yadee’u wa daa’i'uh – I leave you in the trust of Allah, and whenever something is left in Allah’s trust it is never lost.”  She passed away in her sajdah.  Her muscles froze in that position and so they had to wash her body as she was in Sajdah. The prayed Janazah for her as her body was in sajdah. The carried her to the grave yard as her body was in Sajdah.

The buried her as she was in Sajdah.  And the Prophet said that we shall all be resurrected on what we died on, she shall be resurrected on the day of judgement in Sajdah to Allah – Jalla Jalaaluhu wa taqaddasat asmaa’uhu - because that it how she lived and died.

Part II

There are many other stories that we know about of powerful believing mothers, wives and sisters and many, many that Allah only knows about. Whenever a halaqah is going on, the Muslim women outnumber the men. At the American Open University, (www.open-university.edu) the overwhelming majority of students are Muslim women.  Go to an Islamic teachers/schools conference, attend a lecture and you shall see the mismatch of sisters to brothers.  Sometimes it is sad to see all these brothers lacking the motivation that many Muslimahs have.  But if there is a beautiful sign in all this, it is that – in sha’ Allah ta’ala – those sisters are going to raise an army of believing men and women in the coming generation. WAllahu akbar!

When Imam Ahmad was still young, his father died.  He would tell his students of the work his mother went through in raising him, and he would pray for her.  In the cold Baghdad nights, she would wake long before him to warm the water so that her son Ahmad could make wudu for Fajr.  Then she would wrap him in blankets, herself cloaked in her Jilbaab, and guide him through the dark, cold alleys to reach the main Masjid, long before Fajr so that her son could get a good seat in class.  Her son Ahmad - at that age in grade 2 or 3 - would sit all day long studying Quran and Sunnah, and she would wait for him to finish so that she could drop him home safely.  At the age of 16, she prepared money and food for him and told him, “Travel for your search of knowledge.”  He left for Makkah and Madinah and many other places and et many great scholars.  She raised Ahmad to become one of the four greatest Imams in Islam.

Dear sister, after all this, ask a non-Muslim what it is that he wants from you?  Does he want you to be liberated?  Liberated from what? From Allah and his Messenger?  From the Quran and the Sunnah?  From Jannah?  From this deen that Allah chose for you?

And what is he going to give you in return?  Happinness?  By Allah, he does not own any happiness to give.  Is he going to give you love and protection from punishment in the grave and from the gateke pers of hellfire and from death?  Why is it that they want to liberate young beautiful women?  Why don’t they liberate the seniors?  Why don’t they liberate the indigenous?  Why don’t they liberate the inmates?  Why is their target audience a young and skinny and tall women (their definition of beauty) between the age of 13 – 28?  And why is their first call for you to take off your Hijab?

Remember that friend – if you consider him so – carefully, for – without any doubt, by Allah - he shall be your bitterest enemy on the day of Repayment:

[Friends on that day will be foes, one to another - except the Righteous] - Surah Zukhruf (43/67)

One Kafirah summed up exactly what they think of women, “It’s not who you are, it’s what you wear and what you look like!”  And listen to Fabian, a french `model’ (of what?), as she spit on the fashion industry. “Fashion houses made me into a mannequin, a wooden idol.  The mission: to manipulate hearts and alter minds.  I learnt how to be worthless, nothing on the inside, cold.  We lived in a world of filth in all that filth means.”

When the Prophet - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - stood on the plain of Arafah and gave his farewell speech he said to the Ummah, “Treat the women kindly!”  History records that in Europe in the same year, at the same time that Islam was saying this, the Christian clergy were arguing hether a women was a human or an animal!  Those clergymen are the ancestors of the Kuffar that now want to `liberate’ you.

There is much more than can be said.  I shall conclude with the advice of Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - to every Muslim mother, daughter, and wife: “If the women prays her five (Salah), fasts her month (of Ramadan), protects herself (from committing Zina), and listens to her husband, it will be said to her, `from any door you wish, enter Paradise!”  Sister, that is where you want to be.

[O ye who believe! give your response to Allah and His Messenger, when He calls you to that which shall give you life; and know that Allah cometh between a man and his heart, and that it is He to Whom ye shall (all) be gathered.] - Surah Anfal 8/24

Allah and His Messenger are calling you to life.  Dear sister, reply!

 

Source:SunnahOnline

This is a compilation of all the verses in Quran that refer to “women”.

From 002.TheCow

49. And when We delivered you from Firon’s people, who subjected you to severe torment, killing your sons and sparing your women, and in this there was a great trial from your Lord.

221. And do not marry the idolatresses until they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than an idolatress woman, even though she should please you; and do not give (believing women) in marriage to idolaters until they believe, and certainly a believing servant is better than an idolater, even though he should please you; these invite to the fire, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His communications to men, that they may be mindful.

222. And they ask you about menstruation. Say: It is a discomfort; therefore keep aloof from the women during the menstrual discharge and do not go near them until they have become clean; then when they have cleansed themselves, go in to them as Allah has commanded you; surely Allah loves those who turn much (to Him), and He loves those who purify themselves.

228. And the divorced women should keep themselves in waiting for three courses; and it is not lawful for them that they should conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the last day; and their husbands have a better right to take them back in the meanwhile if they wish for reconciliation; and they have rights similar to those against them in a just manner, and the men are a degree above them, and Allah is Mighty, Wise.

231. And when you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time, then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality, and do not retain them for injury, so that you exceed the limits, and whoever does this, he indeed is unjust to his own soul; and do not take Allah’s communications for a mockery, and remember the favor of Allah upon you, and that which He has revealed to you of the Book and the Wisdom, admonishing you thereby; and be careful (of your duty to) Allah, and know that Allah is the Knower of all things.

232. And when you have divorced women and they have ended– their term (of waiting), then do not prevent them from marrying their husbands when they agree among themselves in a lawful manner; with this is admonished he among you who believes in Allah and the last day, this is more profitable and purer for you; and Allah knows while you do not know.

235. And there is no blame on you respecting that which you speak indirectly in the asking of (such) women in marriage or keep (the proposal) concealed within your minds; Allah knows that you win mention them, but do not give them a promise in secret unless you speak in a lawful manner, and do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled, and know that Allah knows what is in your minds, therefore beware of Him, and know that Allah is Forgiving, Forbearing.

236. There is no blame on you if you divorce women when you have not touched them or appointed for them a portion, and make provision for them, the wealthy according to his means and the straitened in circumstances according to his means, a provision according to usage; (this is) a duty on the doers of good (to others).

241. And for the divorced women (too) provision (must be made) according to usage; (this is) a duty on those who guard (against evil).

282. O you who believe! when you deal with each other in contracting a debt for a fixed time, then write it down; and let a scribe write it down between you with fairness; and the scribe should not refuse to write as Allah has taught him, so he should write; and let him who owes the debt dictate, and he should be careful of (his duty to) Allah, his Lord, and not diminish anything from it; but if he who owes the debt is unsound in understanding, or weak, or (if) he is not able to dictate himself, let his guardian dictate with fairness; and call in to witness from among your men two witnesses; but if there are not two men, then one man and two women from among those whom you choose to be witnesses, so that if one of the two errs, the second of the two may remind the other; and the witnesses should not refuse when they are summoned; and be not averse to writing it (whether it is) small or large, with the time of its falling due; this is more equitable in the sight of Allah and assures greater accuracy in testimony, and the nearest (way) that you may not entertain doubts (afterwards), except when it is ready merchandise which you give and take among yourselves from hand to hand, then there is no blame on you in not writing it down; and have witnesses when you barter with one another, and let no harm be done to the scribe or to the witness; and if you do (it) then surely it will be a transgression in you, and be careful of (your duty) to Allah, Allah teaches you, and Allah knows all things.

From 003.TheFamilyofImran:

14. The love of desires, of women and sons and hoarded treasures of gold and silver and well bred horses and cattle and tilth, is made to seem fair to men; this is the provision of the life of this world; and Allah is He with Whom is the good goal (of life).

41. He said: My Lord! appoint a sign for me. Said He: Your sign is that you should not speak to men for three days except by signs; and remember your Lord much and glorify Him in the evening and the morning. f42. And when the angels said: O Marium! surely Allah has chosen you and purified you and chosen you above the women of of the world.

61. But whoever disputes with you in this matter after what has come to you of knowledge, then say: Come let us call our sons and your sons and our women and your women and our near people and your near people, then let us be earnest in prayer, and pray for the curse of Allah on the liars.

From 004.Women:

O people! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind) and spread from these two, many men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship; surely Allah ever watches over you.

And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.

And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result.

Men shall have a portion of what the parents and the near relatives leave, and women shall have a portion of what the parents and the near relatives leave, whether there is little or much of it; a stated portion.

And as for those who are guilty of an indecency from among your women, call to witnesses against them four (witnesses) from among you; then if they bear witness confine them to the houses until death takes them away or Allah opens some way for them.

O you who believe! it is not lawful for you that you should take women as heritage against (their) will, and do not straiten them m order that you may take part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty of manifest indecency, and treat them kindly; then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it.

And all married women except those whom your right hands possess (this is) Allah’s ordinance to you, and lawful for you are (all women) besides those, provided that you seek (them) with your property, taking (them) in marriage not committing fornication. Then as to those whom you profit by, give them their dowries as appointed; and there is no blame on you about what you mutually agree after what is appointed; surely Allah is Knowing, Wise.

And whoever among you has not within his power ampleness of means to marry free believing women, then (he may marry) of those whom your right hands possess from among your believing maidens; and Allah knows best your faith: you are (sprung) the one from the other; so marry them with the permission of their masters, and give them their dowries justly, they being chaste, not fornicating, nor receiving paramours; and when they are taken in marriage, then if they are guilty of indecency, they shall suffer half the punishment which is (inflicted) upon free women. This is for him among you who fears falling into evil; and that you abstain is better for you, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

And do not covet that by which Allah has made some of you excel others; men shall have the benefit of what they earn and women shall have the benefit of what they earn; and ask Allah of His grace; surely Allah knows all things.

Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.

O you who believe! do not go near prayer when you are Intoxicated until you know (well) what you say, nor when you are under an obligation to perform a bath– unless (you are) travelling on the road– until you have washed yourselves; and if you are sick, or on a journey, or one of you come from the privy or you have touched the women, and you cannot find water, betake yourselves to pure earth, then wipe your faces and your hands; surely Allah is Pardoning, Forgiving.

And what reason have you that you should not fight in the way of Allah and of the weak among the men and the women and the children, (of) those who say: Our Lord! cause us to go forth from this town, whose people are oppressors, and give us from Thee a guardian and give us from Thee a helper.

And they ask you a decision about women. Say: Allah makes known to you His decision concerning them, and that which is recited to you in the Book concerning female orphans whom you do not give what is appointed for them while you desire to marry them, and concerning the weak among children, and that you should deal towards orphans with equity; and whatever good you do, Allah surely knows it.

They ask you for a decision of the law. Say: Allah gives you a decision concerning the person who has neither parents nor offspring; if a man dies (and) he has no son and he has a sister, she shall have half of what he leaves, and he shall be her heir she has no son; but if there be two (sisters), they shall have two-thirds of what he leaves; and if there are brethren, men and women, then the male shall have the like of the portion of two females; Allah makes clear to you, lest you err; and Allah knows all things.

From 005.TheFood:

5. This day (all) the good things are allowed to you; and the food of those who have been given the Book is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them; and the chaste from among the believing women and the chaste from among those who have been given the Book before you (are lawful for you); when you have given them their dowries, taking (them) in marriage, not fornicating nor taking them for paramours in secret; and whoever denies faith, his work indeed is of no account, and in the hereafter he shall be one of the losers.

6. O you who believe! when you rise up to prayer, wash your faces and your hands as far as the elbows, and wipe your heads and your feet to the ankles; and if you are under an obligation to perform a total ablution, then wash (yourselves) and if you are sick or on a journey, or one of you come from the privy, or you have touched the women, and you cannot find water, betake yourselves to pure earth and wipe your faces and your hands therewith, Allah does not desire to put on you any difficulty, but He wishes to purify you and that He may complete His favor on you, so that you may be grateful.

From 007.TheElevatedPlaces:

127. And the chiefs of Firon’s people said: Do you leave Musa and his people to make mischief in the land and to forsake you and your gods? He said: We will slay their sons and spare their women, and surely we are masters over them.

141. And when We delivered you from Firon’s people who subJected you to severe torment, killing your sons and sparing your women, and in this there was a great trial from your Lord.

From 009.Repentance:

67. The hypocritical men and the hypocritical women are all alike; they enjoin evil and forbid good and withhold their hands; they have forsaken Allah, so He has forsaken them; surely the hypocrites are the transgressors.

68. Allah has promised the hypocritical men and the hypocritical women and the unbelievers the fire of hell to abide therein; it is enough for them; and Allah has cursed them and they shall have lasting punishment.

71. And (as for) the believing men and the believing women, they are guardians of each other; they enjoin good and forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, and obey Allah and His Apostle; (as for) these, Allah will show mercy to them; surely Allah is Mighty, Wise.

72. Allah has promised to the believing men and the believing women gardens, beneath which rivers flow, to abide in them, and goodly dwellings in gardens of perpetual abode; and best of all is Allah’s goodly pleasure; that is the grand achievement.

From 012.Yusuf:

28. So when he saw his shirt rent from behind, he said: Surely it is a guile of you women; surely your guile is great:

30. And women in the city said: The chiefs wife seeks her slave to yield himself (to her), surely he has affected her deeply with (his) love; most surely we see her in manifest error.

50. And the king said: Bring him to me. So when the messenger came to him, he said: Go back to your lord and ask him, what is the case of the women who cut their hands; surely my Lord knows their guile.

From 014.Ibrahim:

6. And when Musa said to his people: Call to mind Allah’s favor to you when He delivered you from Firon’s people, who subjected you to severe torment, and slew your sons and spared your women; and in this there was a great trial from your Lord.

From 024.TheLight

4. And those who accuse free women then do not bring four witnesses, flog them, (giving) eighty stripes, and do not admit any evidence from them ever; and these it is that are the transgressors,

12. Why did not the believing men and the believing women, when you heard it, think well of their own people, and say: This is an evident falsehood?

23. Surely those who accuse chaste believing women, unaware (of the evil), are cursed in this world and the hereafter, and they shall have a grievous chastisement.

26. Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. Good women are for good men and good men are for good women

31. And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-coverings over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands or their fathers, or the fathers of their husbands, or their sons, or the sons of their husbands, or their brothers, or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or those whom their right hands possess, or the male servants not having need (of women), or the children who have not attained knowledge of what is hidden of women; and let them not strike their feet so that what they hide of their ornaments may be known; and turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.

60. And (as for) women advanced in years who do not hope for a marriage, it is no sin for them if they put off their clothes without displaying their ornaments; and if they restrain themselves it is better for them; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing.

From 027.TheAnt:

55. What! do you indeed approach men lustfully rather than women? Nay, you are a people who act ignorantly.

From 028.TheNarrative:

4. Surely Firon exalted himself in the land and made its people into parties, weakening one party from among them; he slaughtered their sons and let their women live; surely he was one of the mischiefmakers.

23. And when he came to the water of Madyan, he found on it a group of men watering, and he found besides them two women keeping back (their flocks). He said: What is the matter with you? They said: We cannot water until the shepherds take away (their sheep) from the water, and our father is a very old man.

25. Then one of the two women came to him walking bashfully. She said: My father invites you that he may give you the reward of your having watered for us. So when he came to him and gave to him the account, he said: Fear not, you are secure from the unjust people.

From 003.TheAllies:

32. O wives of the Prophet! you are not like any other of the women; If you will be on your guard, then be not soft in (your) speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease yearn; and speak a good word.

35. Surely the men who submit and the women who submit, and the believing men and the believing women, and the obeying men and the obeying women, and the truthful men and the truthful women, and the patient men and the patient women and the humble men and the humble women, and the almsgiving men and the almsgiving women, and the fasting men and the fasting women, and the men who guard their private parts and the women who guard, and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember– Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a mighty reward.

49. O you who believe! when you marry the believing women, then divorce them before you touch them, you have in their case no term which you should reckon; so make some provision for them and send them forth a goodly sending forth.

52. It is not allowed to you to take women afterwards, nor that you should change them for other wives, though their beauty be pleasing to you, except what your right hand possesses and Allah is Watchful over all things.

55. There is no blame on them in respect of their fathers, nor their brothers, nor their brothers’ sons, nor their sisters’ sons nor their own women, nor of what their right hands possess; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah; surely Allah is a witness of all things.

58. And those who speak evil things of the believing men and the believing women without their having earned (it), they are guilty indeed of a false accusation and a manifest sin.

59. O Prophet! say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers that they let down upon them their over-garments; this will be more proper, that they may be known, and thus they will not be given trouble; and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

73. So Allah will chastise the hypocritical men and the hypocritical women and the polytheistic men and the polytheistic women, and Allah will turn (mercifully) to the believing women, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

From 040.TheBeliever:

25. So when he brought to them the truth from Us, they said: Slay the sons of those who believe with him and keep their women alive; and the struggle of the unbelievers will only come to a state of perdition.

From 047.Muhammad:

19. So know that there is no god but Allah, and, ask protection for your fault and for the believing men and the believing women; and Allah knows the place of your returning and the place of your abiding.

From 048.TheVictory:

5. That He may cause the believing men and the believing women to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow to abide therein and remove from them their evil; and that is a grand achievement with Allah

6. And (that) He may punish the hypocritical men and the hypocritical women, and the polytheistic men and the polytheistic women, the entertainers of evil thoughts about Allah. On them is the evil turn, and Allah is wroth with them and has cursed them and prepared hell for them, and evil is the resort.

25. It is they who disbelieved and turned you away from the Sacred Mosque and (turned off) the offering withheld from arriving at its destined place; and were it not for the believing men and the believing women, whom, not having known, you might have trodden down, and thus something hateful might have afflicted you on their account without knowledge– so that Allah may cause to enter into His mercy whomsoever He pleases; had they been widely separated one from another, We would surely have punished those who disbelieved from among them with a painful punishment.

From 057.TheIron:

12. On that day you will see the faithful men and the faithful women– their light running before them and on their right hand– good news for you today: gardens beneath which rivers flow, to abide therein, that is the grand achievement.

13. On the day when the hypocritical men and the hypocritical women will say to those who believe: Wait for us, that we may have light from your light; it shall be said: Turn back and seek a light. Then separation would be brought about between them, with a wall having a door in it; (as for) the inside of it, there shall be mercy in it, and (as for) the outside of it, before it there shall be punishment.

18. Surely (as for) the charitable men and the charitable women and (those who) set apart for Allah a goodly portion, it shall be doubled for them and they shall have a noble reward.

From 060.TheExaminedOne:

10. O you who believe! when believing women come to you flying, then examine them; Allah knows best their faith; then if you find them to be believing women, do not send them back to the unbelievers, neither are these (women) lawful for them, nor are those (men) lawful for them, and give them what they have spent; and no blame attaches to you in marrying them when you give them their dowries; and hold not to the ties of marriage of unbelieving women, and ask for what you have spent, and kt them ask for what they have spent. That is Allah’s judgment; He judges between you, and Allah is Knowing, Wise.

12. O Prophet! when believing women come to you giving you a pledge that they will not associate aught with Allah, and will not steal, and will not commit fornication, and will not kill their children, and will not bring a calumny which they have forged of themselves, and will not disobey you in what is good, accept their pledge, and ask forgiveness for them from Allah; surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

From 065.TheDivorce:

O Prophet! when you divorce women, divorce them for~ their prescribed time, and calculate the number of the days prescribed, and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, your Lord. Do not drive them out of their houses, nor should they themselves go forth, unless they commit an open indecency; and these are the limits of Allah, and whoever goes beyond the limits of Allah, he indeed does injustice to his own soul. You do not know that Allah may after that bring about reunion.

? And (as for) those of your women who have despaired of menstruation, if you have a doubt, their prescribed time shall be three months, and of those too who have not had their courses; and (as for) the pregnant women, their prescribed time is that they lay down their burden; and whoever is careful of (his duty to) Allah He will make easy for him his affair.

From 071.Nuh:

28. My Lord! forgive me and my parents and him who enters my house believing, and the believing men and the believing women; and do not increase the unjust in aught but destruction!

From 085.TheMansionsOfTheStars:

10. Surely (as for) those who persecute the believing men and the believing women, then do not repent, they shall have the chastisement of hell, and they shall have the chastisement of burning.

 

Prologue

Islam encourages the Muslims to stand out among people, readily distinguishable by their dress, appearance and behaviour, so that they will be a good example, worthy of the great message that they bring to humanity.

According to the hadith narrated by the great Sahabi Ibn al-Hanzaliyyah, the Prophet (PBUH) told his Companions, when they were travelling to meet some brothers in faith:

“You are going to visit your brothers, so repair your saddles and make sure that you are dressed well, so that you will stand out among people like an adornment, for Allah (SWT) does not love ugliness.”[1]

The Prophet (PBUH) considered an unkempt and careless appearance, and scruffy clothes and furnishings, to be forms of ugliness, which is hated and forbidden by Islam.

Islam encourages the Muslims in general to stand out among the people; the Muslim woman, in particular, is encouraged to be distinct from other people in her appearance, because this reflects well on her, and on her husband, family and children.

The Muslim woman does not neglect her appearance, no matter how busy she is with her domestic chores and the duties of motherhood. She is keen to look good, without going to extremes, because a good appearance is an indication of how well she understands herself, her Islamic identity, and her mission in life. The outward appearance of a woman cannot be separated from her inner nature: a neat, tidy and clean exterior reflects a noble and decent inner character, both of which go to make up the character of the true Muslim woman.

The smart Muslim woman is one who strikes a balance between her external appearance and internal nature. She understands that she is composed of a body, a mind and a soul, and gives each the attention it deserves, without exaggerating in one aspect to the detriment of others. In seeking to strike the right balance, she is following the wise guidance of Islam which encourages her to do so.

How can the Muslim woman achieve this balance between her body, mind and soul?

1 - Her Body

Moderation in food and drink

The Muslim woman takes good care of her body, promoting its good health and strength. She is active, not flabby or overweight. So she does not eat to excess; she eats just enough to maintain her health and energy. This is in accordance with the guidance of Allah (SWT) in the Qur’an:

( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.) (Qur’an 7:31)

The Prophet (PBUH) also advised moderation in food and drink:

“There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his stomach, but if he must fill it, the let him allow one-third for food, one-third for drink, and one-third for air.”[2]

`Umar (RAA) said:

“Beware of filling your stomachs with food and drink, for it is harmful to the body and causes sickness and laziness in performing prayers. Be moderate in both food and drink, for that is healthier for your bodies and furthest removed from extravagance. Allah (SWT) will hate the fat man (one who revels in a life of luxury), and a man will not be condemned until he favours his desires over his religion.”[3]

The Muslim woman also steers clear of drugs and stimulants, especially those which are clearly known to be haram, and she avoids the bad habits that many women have fallen into in societies that have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT) and His Messenger, such as staying up late at night to waste time in idle pursuits. She goes to sleep early and gets up early to start the day’s activities with energy and enthusiasm. She does not weaken her energy with late nights and bad habits; she is always active and efficient, so that her household chores do not exhaust her and she can meet her targets.

She understands that a strong believer is more loved by Allah (SWT) than a weak believer, as the Prophet (PBUH) taught, so she always seeks to strengthen her body by means of a healthy lifestyle.

She exercises regularly

The Muslim woman does not forget to maintain her physical fitness and energy by following the healthy practice